Tag: random feelings

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The real reason good friendships are so hard to come by.

Anxious but trying is the motto of my life!

I think I’m okay most of the time after these ridiculous evening self talks.

Talking to oneself and setting matters straight with one’s heart matters more because at the end of the day, nobody else gives a fuck about you and how you’re going to feel no matter how open you are to them.

Sometimes I think I need to talk out loud inside a room.
Because sometimes you see, you are your best person.

There, I said it.

I am a poor judge of people.

Even more when it comes to recognizing a solid friend.
Of course, to have good friends you have to be a good friend.

It means showing up.

If you never text back and you cancel every get-together…you will not get back deep friendship.
It means making sacrifices. Friendship requires sacrifice.

It means pursuing.

It means sending texts to check in on them about that thing they were worried about. It means grabbing a memory and making a quick call telling them you’re thinking of them.

It means asking them to meet up for a glass of wine on a sunny afternoon.
It means texting back when you’re almost asleep and telling them you miss them.
I think it’s important to make sacrifices for the friends that you choose. Maybe that means meeting up with them when you don’t feel like it. Maybe it’s doing something you don’t want to do to help them out.

It means choosing.

Well, you cannot give the same level of friendship to everyone. You have to choose the people you are going to give your heart to.

Good friends dont-

1.stay too busy for you, too long.

2. Listen to what you have to say, solely for responding with a ready-made solution.

3. Don’t show you negativity and do negative talk about your bad situation.

4. Allow fearful thoughts to navigate your brain for long.
5. Show off to you that they are perfect.

6. Tell you that they have limited time for you or that they have to struggle to make time for you.

7. Blame you or complain about you or compare you to other friends and situations.

8. Don’t just talk about loving yourself more, as a motto but show you why you are so damn lovable and cherished.

There are certain people who make the world a better place just by being in it. They seem to carry the strongest glue around with them. And sometimes, we just wish to drown ourselves in the feels they give us.
Those are the ones I think reside in our hearts forever.

How can we be these angels and good friends to others –

1. It costs nothing to be a very sweet and kind person. All you gotta do is to be a kind hearted person. That’s all.

2. Good friends treat you well, are super loyal and are incredibly protective of the ones they trust and love.

3. Most of them can be a little standoffish when you first get to meet them, but that’s only because they don’t like letting anyone in. Once they do open up, though, they are a bundle of love.

4. Again and again, they are compassionate and kind and their loyalty to loved ones is unmatched.

5. You don’t hesitate to talk to them. With them, you just know you are not alone.

6. You don’t worry about being vulnerable with them.

7. You just wouldn’t know what to do without them. Period.

8. They always, always listen to you and always notice what you are going through.

9. They are respectful.

10. They compliment you a lot and some of them are great huggers.

11. They dress you up in confidence all the time.

It’s definitely okay to choose the people you invest in; sometimes spending enough time with a friend opens your eyes to existing realities. Perhaps you overstayed in a relationship. Sometimes and often times, they would not know how to communicate lack of space in their hearts for you.
We all need this. Safe friendships. We just weren’t meant to travel this life alone and in my opinion, there’s no time we need each other more than as we grow older and lonelier.

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Listen, you are going to be okay.

She stood there – the first time seeing the beauty of what she had been pushing through, blindly searching for the path to the top. The clouds finally thinned and sunlight warmed her tired bones, while the memories of all these hard times started slipping.

How can one know how steep the slope actually feels before walking?
How can one know how far you need to go when the mountain is half covered in clouds?
How can one know what will happen one the way up? Who you will loose and what will leave you doubting?
And if you finally reach the top how will you decide to continue?

And then a voice speaks to me in a faint impression “Listen to me, my dear”. The composed sound resonated well with my senses. “You are the kindest, smartest, most beautiful person I have ever met. And you’re going to be so so happy. Okay?”

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

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We are all just trying our best to figure ourselves out.

The good years of my life were mostly lived in disharmony. Infact quite similar to few of us- the unlucky ones on the planet.

I spent a considerable number of years, living in the past, worrying about something that happened, or in the future worrying about what’s yet to come. All the while, wasting the present moment, the one I actually have some control over. I have often wondered how different life would be now, if I had been more mindful and less judgemental.
What if I had appreciated every moment of my life by the minute.
Organically speaking, that rarely happens you see. Unless we have a terrific insight and the presence of mind, to logically transport ourselves through reality and common sense.

I have spent a considerable part of my life, comparing myself to other people. At every stage of my life, at every milestone I accomplished, there was someone who always seemed like competition. My paths and timelines were different and set up at a non linear pace, yet someone accomplishing a milestone before me, gave me a fear of being left behind. Someone else finding success before me, made me doubt my own accomplishments.

I had a great job and yet I used to wish day and night, to move back in with friends or family, back to the city I loved.

Friends were getting married before me and I thought I never will.

I would be be considerate of others and let them walk all over me because I was taught being nice is the only choice we have. It resulted in me having distorted boundaries.

You can be helpful and say no sometimes. I was a good person and the favourite feast for a pushover. I knew to be kind and didnt know how to keep unreciprocating takers at a distance.

I had not set limits because I did not want then, to be a bad person. You know what I mean.

What did I do everyday that has in bits, changed my life, slowly but surely. I am a more patient woman and less likely to be perturbed by anyone with disturbing behavior.

I broke my old practices.

I was expecting a different result without significantly changing my routine.
There was a stage of my life where I was stuck. My life was going nowhere.
I was in a job I didn’t really like, doing work I didn’t care about. And to distract myself, I was living a disarrayed life, mostly without a routine or set discipline. I used to eat out mindlessly, have no concerns about time and impact, be wasteful in my spending. I was young, earning well and independent.

I’m so guilty of wanting change without doing anything to get it. I realized that I need to change something about I did everyday, to make action; infact enjoyable and productive action a habit, for me to make anything out if my life.

Comparison kills all the fun!

I had a fetish for reading and writing since I remember. I used to particularly be in awe of friends who were into book publishing and content writing or even the print media or the otherwise agonizing advertising.
I have friends now, who would say the same in return. They loved their jobs but at the same time enjoyed my routine. I have met some of them recently who struggle to spend quality time with family and would do anything to be in my place.
Comparison is something that most of us struggle with, even more now when we compare our behind-the-scenes to someone’s highlight life on social media. The likes on Facebook are as worthy as oxygen to a dying patient sometimes.

We forget that we don’t know the whole story, it’s just a feed where we put the best version of ourselves.

I wouldn’t click a picture of myself after I have had a terrible deal with my husband with a f*cked up status line.
And so many of us, judge each others lives through such digital projection. I love social media. I am a freak sometimes. But it should be just that. Freaky and fun. I don’t attach any more meaning to it anymore. I have true admiration for anything that doesn’t steal my joy anymore.

Have faith.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason. A lot of things in my life, totally inexplicable at times have made

a lot if sense years later, in computation.
Me meeting the man of my world, in a city, I didn’t like much, is one such example.
I thought cultures would be distant and so would be our lives together.
Today he is my best friend, comfort and kickass buddy. I have understood very clearly that life happens, things don’t always go according to the plan and it’s important to have faith that everything will work out in the end. Maybe not as we thought it would. But it will get me exactly where I would be at peace with myself.

What is there to control, really!

I am by nature a very anxious person. It is quite a challenge for me to accept things as they are. This is particularly in case with my children. I am a perfectionist. I like things a certain way. I thought I would be the best mom. And all that frugal nonsense that comes alive with being a mother.
Two handsome boys hence now, I can bravely say that any such thought is utter bullshit.
My elder son was reeling with terrible breathing concerns till age 3 and I almost thought he had ADHD.
Years later he has no trace of any of that.
Perhaps I have imbibed both the problems.
Trust me, the only control you have is of you and your thoughts.
We cannot even control what our best friends and family think of us sometimes.

I have understood that it is just not possible for people to abandon their intelligence and use yours.don’t have control over what other people think of you. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why don’t you get up and go do something about it? Let go of what you can’t control and accept what you can.

Very easy to write that. But believe me, either that or pain for life. I am a much more patient person today with the second child.

Love yourself.

We need adulation. Human beings are an interdependent species. We live in a world where we cannot antagonize the truth of togetherness.
I used to believe that you need to love yourself in order be loved by someone else. That’s what people said. But I don’t agree with it 100% anymore. No matter where you are on that journey, you deserve to be loved by others, and yourself. As much as I love myself, the love front others makes my life more enjoyable and worth the time.

Being truly oneself

For most of us , this is utter rubbish. Already we are a magnet for trouble. The how does continuing on similar knowledge fetch any more good.
It has become quite the cliche but it never hurts to say it one more time, especially for those of us struggling with it.
The truth is that I have tried acting different. In more majestic ways, sometimes imbibing qualities which I sae in others, even when they didn’t come to me naturally. After a point it is uneasy and disturbing. It makes you irritable.

It sounds stylish to be flawed and quirky. The often repeated embrace yourself, need not be dramatic. Simply being yourself and taking truthful steps is magic enough in the current world.
When we let go off, the wierd things people think about us, it makes it possible to live easy without constant speed catching with others expectations.

We look funny doing that race.

Everyone is attractive when you look closely.

I look around me and as crazy as it may be, everyone motivates me. I don’t know why it is like that.

Maybe I compare myself so hard and I find fault in most of what I do.
Well technically, that’s not the best way to explain this point, but it is aboutbeing honest right?
Considering the amount of toxic people around you, at any given time, it is a blessing to to able to look up to anybody with a lesson to teach.

My neighbor who leaves her two year old son with a help at home, with no one else to watch over, because she had to earn a collective living for the family, has taught me that mother’s out there, do astounding work. She shows me strength and passion for her family.

Those small moments are damn big!

Ah, everyone says this one.
Where are those small moments. How do I know they exist? I am a confused person most times.
It can be tricky because your mind tends to look for big, exciting things.
Eventually after years of nonchalance, I still look back and know I could have lived my life better.

Those small moments, which I never saw have become a memory now and even today I grapple with what is small and presumably precious. I am learning everyday at hindsight.

Let’s keep the list alive and kicking. What has helped you collect yourself and be alive, when you were feeling lost?

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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My lost friend, I long to meet you again.

(Photo by We Heart It)

Have friends whom you are not in touch with?

Losing a friend is the breakup nobody talks about, nobody writes songs about.

I hadn’t expected it to hit me like that again. I thought I was over her. But I’m not. It’s been fifteen years since I last spoke to her.

We loved each other. She was the first one to know about the hero of my life. And now she knows nothing about any of me. I remember pushing the bar to search for her. Like she disappeared into nothingness.

Sometimes I don’t think about her for weeks and then, out of nowhere, it all hits me again. That whatever we had, is gone, only a memory that keeps fading and doesn’t feel real anymore. As if it belonged to another me.
I miss the old days. The everyday talks, the secrets, those girl-things, the stay overs. I miss her, I miss who I was around her.

Please give me a moment and read. This is exactly how I feel. This time I have been able to describe it perfectly-

“Sometimes I really am awful in regards to keeping in contact with others. I want healthy and fulfilling relationships with my friends, but it’s very hard for me to wholly invest myself. I want to talk to you, but it’s difficult for me to muster the energy to do so sometimes. I want to hang out with you, but isolation also sounds nice right now. I’ll read your texts, but I’m not necessarily in the mood to reply at the moment. Then I feel anxious attempting to reach out when I do have the energy and I am in a good mood because I feel like I pushed you away and you dislike me now, so I usually remain isolated.”

If I had a chance to write a letter, this is what it would say-

“Friend, I like you. And that’s that.
No matter the distance, you will always be remembered.
I hope you will walk into my life like autumn and I will meet you like the fall.
And maybe it will happen like Troye Sivan sang:

I’m sure we’ll meet in the spring again,
And catch up on everything
and I´ll hug you and say I’m proud of all that you’ve done.”

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.
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I glow without stealing someone else’s sunshine.

Heard the song ‘You can’t break me’ by V Bozeman?
It’s great when you have a friend that gets you – you don’t need to break everything you say down for them to understand – they are rare and most precious people.
I say this from personal experience. We were close, I think. I had met her after a gap of few years. It was a new feeling. Perhaps, even exciting. We were close suddenly.
After about a year of sweet interaction, things changed dramatically. I felt they expected me to be a certain way, perhaps even critical and condescending about just everyone who would hava a good cahnce at life.
I never understand this need to talk about others. I used to take it upon myself to be more present and just not speak when I didn’t have anything to contribute.
I don’t like making my life a subject for anyone and likewise for others too.
Similarly, I would show a complete disinterest in all that she had to talk about any one else, mostly who never mattered to either of us.

After months, I looked in the mirror at myself and spoke out loud, “I’m pissed at you.”

This wasn’t a comment directed at myself, but at a close friend of mine — the person I had started to resent a few weeks prior, but instead of bringing it up at the time, I remained silent, distant, passive.

So there I was, alone at home practicing the very words I wanted to utter on several occasions over several calls, uncertain that I’d have the courage to make it happen. I am always struggling with finding the right way to let the people I care about know that I’m upset, disappointed or simply pissed off.
I felt a huge burden on myself. Initially I couldn’t quite put a finger to what was really going wrong . I nevertheless tried to make up with listening time extended, more calls and appreciation messages on occasions and keeping touch, whenever I felt a dip in the connection. I felt it was all wrong. Not working for me, like I would like it to.

After a while, it was awful to realise they just didn’t care, how I would be hurt and that perhaps they found fault in me, for not living up to a certain expectation of a friend.
I understood we all have our lists of perfect qualities. I knew I didn’t match up to theirs. They had other requirements and clearly I couldn’t have of them! I spent months on my own, day by day, as I got over it with the help of some rational self talk.
Sometimes we find ourselves at crossroads with people that we may have been excited to form bonds with at first, and yet are left wondering why they’re still in your phone contacts or friends on social media now. Sure enough, it can be painful, but it’s alright to shrug your shoulders and say, “We had a beautiful connection once, and I’m grateful for it: but now we’re just in really different places.” Drifting apart doesn’t mean you have to formally sever ties, but it’s OK to find yourself less invested in a friendship that used to be, if not your entire world, an exciting part of it. It doesn’t make me or them a bad person — it’s just about coming to terms with the knowledge that sometimes our full original selves just don’t match with old friends anymore.

(Thankyou for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.
https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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How life changed when I invested in Buddhist readings!

I get addicted to anything that makes me feel anything. Because not a lot of things make me feel.

Let me explain how life is complicated and a turmoil, mostly.

About three years ago, I started buying books on Zen and Buddhism, straining my eyes, heart and mind searching for demonstrable results.

I read everything. I didn’t understand most of it, but I tried.

I was born in a South Indian Kerala- Nair family. Of whatever memory I have of the 40 years, I lived so far, my family was not deeply religious nor were they dabbling in meditations and philosophies. Intellectually the feeling was good. It was a straightforward staring into reality mode, most of the time.
Hence, discovery of Buddhist readings was rejuvenating and to a large extent, honestly, entertaining.

So, the basic line was that everything depends on us, how we do the thinking . Therefore to be positive. Think positive and as a habit formation then, spread the happiness to all around you.

Now this is how life slowly, certainly not dramatically changed for the better.

I have a problem in dealing with arguments. Well, not the business, formal ones. With limited emotional outpour in those valleys, my performances there, are usually stellar. I can dip in and come out and I have rarely ruffled sentiments and in the rare cases I do, we find a calm solution.

My weaknesses come to the fore in the other kind. With friends, relatives and in matters of the heart, I fail to deliver on emotional grounds.
If the argument, gets out of hand, I would find myself at a place, from where it is often, difficult to return.
Sadly this new position of hostility becomes solidified and what was once an enjoyable relationship becomes over-shadowed with bitterness – not a good place to be.

For as long as I can remember, I have always crossed back into my own mind when I am upset. Talking to others during these times makes me feels bothersome, at best. This is not conducive to connecting and is usually not helpful in healing, but it’s the way I “work”.

I have always been in awe of friends and acquaintances who have the marvellous ability to let their pain show without drama, pride or self-beating.

Vulnerability has never come easy to me. Yet here I am pouring myself onto a page, day after day. If you were to ask me about it face to face, I would smile a little and maybe throw a laugh in there.
Damn! I can’t be confronted with pity pupils and I am sorry smiles. I retreat inward, I pull up my shields, it’s something I wish I didn’t have to do.

I am a work in progress now and the progress is good.
I give up on people slower and hold on to people tighter. Slipping happens rarely. I have shown an improved ability to read vibes and radiating the appropriate ones.
Earlier, patience never come easy to me, it was a ‘I want what I want, I want it now, no delay’ situation, in my life.
If they hesitated I would move on.
It’s romantic in a way now, when I am steady with my affections .

In slow and painful moments, I remind myself that there are good things left. there are good things coming. there are good things waiting for me. whoever I am, wherever I am, however I am, it can and it will get better.

It’s really great to have someone’s support before you accomplish something big because that’s when you need it the most, so here’s some friendly ghost support for the times before people recognize your greatness!

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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I glow without stealing someone else’s sunshine!

Heard the song ‘You can’t break me’ by V Bozeman?

It’s great when you have a friend that gets you – you don’t need to break everything you say down for them to understand – they are rare and most precious people.

I say this from personal experience. We were close, I think. I had met her after a gap of few years. It was a new feeling. Perhaps, even exciting. We were close suddenly.

After about a year of sweet interaction, things changed dramatically. I felt they expected me to be a certain way, perhaps even critical and condescending about just everyone who would hava a good cahnce at life.
I never understand this need to talk about others. I used to take it upon myself to be more present and just not speak when I didn’t have anything to contribute.

I don’t like making my life a subject for anyone and likewise for others too.
Similarly, I would show a complete disinterest in all that she had to talk about any one else, mostly who never mattered to either of us.

After months, I looked in the mirror at myself and spoke out loud, “I’m pissed at you.”

This wasn’t a comment directed at myself, but at a close friend of mine — the person I had started to resent a few weeks prior, but instead of bringing it up at the time, I remained silent, distant, passive.

So there I was, alone at home practicing the very words I wanted to utter on several occasions over several calls, uncertain that I’d have the courage to make it happen. I am always struggling with finding the right way to let the people I care about know that I’m upset, disappointed or simply pissed off.
I felt a huge burden on myself.

Initially I couldn’t quite put a finger to what was really going wrong . I nevertheless tried to make up with listening time extended, more calls and appreciation messages on occasions and keeping touch, whenever I felt a dip in the connection.

I felt it was all wrong. Not working for me, like I would like it to.

After a while, it was awful to realise they just didn’t care, how I would be hurt and that perhaps they found fault in me, for not living up to a certain expectation of a friend.
I understood we all have our lists of perfect qualities. I knew I didn’t match up to theirs.

They had other requirements and clearly I couldn’t have of them! I spent months on my own, day by day, as I got over it with the help of some rational self talk.

Sometimes we find ourselves at crossroads with people that we may have been excited to form bonds with at first, and yet are left wondering why they’re still in your phone contacts or friends on social media now.

Sure enough, it can be painful, but it’s alright to shrug your shoulders and say, “We had a beautiful connection once, and I’m grateful for it: but now we’re just in really different places.”

Drifting apart doesn’t mean you have to formally sever ties, but it’s OK to find yourself less invested in a friendship that used to be, if not your entire world, an exciting part of it.

It doesn’t make me or them a bad person — it’s just about coming to terms with the knowledge that sometimes our full original selves just don’t match with old friends anymore.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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The different lives I want to live.

(Photo by Simon Hadjucki from Unsplash)

I just really love being with my own thoughts, my own space, room to work on myself, look after myself and not feel so overwhelmed.

A person is always influenced by people, society and media so much that it drives you to believe that you’re not enough, that you don’t have a voice to express yourself only because that you’re afraid of being not right! But when you’re alone, you are able to understand what you like, what you support, what you want to share and how to treat yourself and others.
That is a truly blessing!

I am grateful for the beautiful parts of my life, my ability to learn and grow, my capacity for love and understanding, my ability to adjust and adapt as needed. Grateful for the knowledge I possess and the endless potential I have.
I can’t even imagine being able to choose just one picture of me.

Like I want to be the alluring student in the back of the library all afternoon reading a love story , I want to be the sweet farm girl collecting strawberries and waking up early to pick flowers, I want to be an art student with paint all over my overalls getting up early to draw the city from my apartment balcony, I want to be a skater and a stoner with chains on my jeans and tattoos running up my arms, I want to be a witch living on the outskirts of town, my home filled with all manner of strange plants, animals and potions. I don’t have enough lifetimes for all the people I want to be and so I end up a messy combo of all of it and none of it at once.
Here’s to the stories you tell among your friends around campfires and will never be repeated again. Here’s to the witch in the cabin in the woods and the man with the hook hand on the road, here’s to the things that scare you and cannot be bought or sold. Here’s to the cheesy and gleeful and the ending where everyone lives because you can. Here’s to the things that are not art.
And here’s to the things that are, raise your glass with me, because you are making something bigger than ourselves into a world that would like to throw it out.

Make it bigger still, vaster, hungrier, so enormous that they can no longer label it or assign it value. Make art.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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This is how we will open up to each other!

Photo by David Marcu from Unsplash

We hide so much of ourselves from each other. I do too, because of the fear of comparison and judgement.
Yet, this is how most of us, wake up on most mornings, with similar feelings.

I think the worst part is knowing that if I wanted to, really wanted to, if I tried hard enough, I could wake up and change everything. I could hang out with my friends and not be scared to run out of things to say. I can change my own life at any moment. But I don’t ‘want’ to, you see. How I love being sad, love rotting to boredom, in my room while people have fun without me, in another world. I love imagining little scenarios in my head instead of making them real, like a sad little child playing with dolls.

I love hybernating through seasons of joy. I think I would be bored otherwise. I am afraid to be great and to have everything I think I want. It terrifies me because what I really want, deep down, is to keep hiding. I am scared to admit it but it’s true. It’s the only thing I really love today.

I don’t love my friends all the time, or myself or my work.

As some days pass by, they leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling inside, those are the days I feel, I must jot down in a gratitude journal, to flip back through on my not so great days, to remember why I love life and being alive. Yes those days happen often. I dress up and feel sexy. I wear the smell of my favourite shampoo on my hair. I buy doughnuts and cookies and snap them with children, I listen to podcasts as I work the kitchen sink.

When we are in a dark place, our mind tricks us into thinking that all days are like this and covers our memories in a film of grey and ugliness. I wish to hold on to those days that leave me feeling like there is sunshine in my chest, take photos to remember them by, write notes to read them after days. Even post about them on Elephant!

I know there is something so magical in the environment I create around myself.
A smile at a stranger, a relaxed moment by the residence fountain, a gentleness towards myself and others and knowledge that those who live beyond are feeling the same everyday and looking out for me, like I am secretly, yearning for them.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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Love, expectations and all the shit that comes with it.

People have different capacity for love. They each have a specific size vessel in which they can fill and flow love. It took me a very long time to figure that out. That thought has given me clarity and peace.

I have a couple of friends who are single at my age.

Clearly, they are single because they chose to be on that path.

The reasons may be one of the following-

Firstly,they are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at a particular point in time. They have a career to build, no care for other distractions and their hands are full to make promises of a lifetime, yet.

Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. Pressing and mysterious circumstances knock at everyone’s door, once in a while.

Third, they may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven’t found someone with whom they’re truly compatible.

Some of my friends, never had a problem finding good men to date. When I spoke to them about what they think, they almost unanimously answered that they believed, there is always- someone for everyone. If one man, or woman is “not the one” they may lead you to someone who is. Never drop your standards. Be honest, do a honest self evaluation on yourself. Ask close friends. Some of yours may come up with something similar.

I have another set of well meaning friends who don’t think they exist and are now, tired of being disappointed. It’s not even like they need a carbon copy of themselves , just someone halfway considerate, kind, and appreciative. But goodness, people can be shit.

Damn right. The intensity of your emotions should be understood and reciprocated equally. Else you end up being drained in every relationship.

I have a simple thought on this. Just give up and enjoy your life the best you can. Not everyone is meant for someone, that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to have an awful life. I would tell my buddies this thing- that being single is better than being lonely and in a relationship. Don’t settle, don’t sell yourself short! I wonder how one could invest their feelings into someone or just anyone, just to not be alone.

Good partnerships are worth the wait. Everyone’s capacity for love (romantically) is different. It took me some time to learn this.. So many are shallow and/or materialistic or just willing to settle with comfortability. I always say that some people’s love is as deep as a puddle while others is as deep as the sea. I need depth, passion, soul changing love. It can leave you utterly devastated when lost but its the only kind of love that’s worth it .

I’ve been with my husband for fifteen years. We are almost complete opposites, including the way we show love.

Yes we have had ups and downs, been through the F- word journey and still do, almost every day and pardon me God, I wouldn’t get the joy of making up to anyone else but him. The extreme friend and companion.
While a miracle partnership isn’t happening anywhere in the world, common sense would say, enjoy being alone which very few of us can embrace. If you can handle and be happy at the same time of being alone by all means, you can handle any situation with or without someone… Cheers everyone and breathe, remember we all have one life, try not to complicate that.
And to all my single friends, I absolutely love you! I’m so proud of you and your super shiny spirit!!!

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/