Why I choose kindness as a remedy to almost all my problems.

(Photo by Andrea Tummons from Unsplash)

Do you ever feel so absolutely disinclined to do things?

Like it ain’t even postponement or laziness anymore, you just physically and mentally can’t bring yourself to do anything. It is like I really, really just wish to binge watch Discovery Plus, my favourite channel, until my mind numbs completely or lie on the bed and stare into the abyss.

And it’s not like I don’t have “motivation” or anything or even that I don’t want to do it, it’s just..I can’t. I don’t know, how people just do things randomly, get up and go at it. I have to have an entire existential crisis and like, read a goddamn motivational passage or something first before I do the smallest thing on a particularly difficult day and it’s June for God’s sake. ..and not much of monsoon to help ease the heat.

And just at times as these, sometimes I am immovably sunken. I just want someone to be kind and ask me how Iam doing and genuinely. It feels so good to be kind. We are all, rowing our heavy bars through the tough waters. We all hesitate.

But we are hopelessly looking for kind souls. It’s the warm feeling you get when someone tells me that I look nice today, or that I did a good job, or that my voice sounds lovely, or that the dinner I put together was delicious, or how I always laugh at their jokes.

It’s the warm feeling you get when they respond bashfully, or surprised, with that small smile and a thankfulness that shines in their eyes. It feels so good when someone is kind to you.

When it feels like the effort you put into the world is seen and acknowledged and appreciated. It feels so good when you’re able to make someone feel that wonderful.
It is certainly one of the best ways to build connections, if only for those few minutes that you’re in conversation with the other person.
All I want to do sometimes, on these days, is to put one foot in front of the other and be grateful.

I love the contagious nature of kindness. Have you noticed ..when someone goes out of their way to show kindness just because, it spurs others to do the same. I like simple things.

1. Giving them attention. Intentional eye contact and an inviting smile are my favourite ways to be nice. Everyone likes that.
2. Check on your neighbours once in a while. If it looks awkward, call them still and let them know that you just wanted to say a hello and ask if everything is going well with them. I have understood through practice that it wins hearts.
3. Smile at the person waiting next to you at the billing area. In most cases, they have similar agenda. They wish to collect their stuff, reach home to family.
4. Ask about someone’s pet as you meet them on your way. Ask how do they call them and say a kind word. It wins hearts.
5. Many an exhausted parent struggle when their toddler throws a wild tantrum in public space. I am a mother. I know it is a tricky situation. If you find someone in that situation, look at them with a smile and wink at them. Let them know it’s perfectly normal.
6. Say thank-you to the parking meter guy. He will be proud of his job.
7. Wish friends and acquaintances on their birthdays and send specially emoji-ed messages. It makes them happy. They will be find you attractive.

Good things happen tobhood people is a universal saying. In my modified personal note, I would say good vibes make you incredibly attractive.

Let’s make love!

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The reason I love myself more than anyone else and why I feel that is important…

Photo courtesy- my own

I think life gets easier once you find your strong meaning or purpose.

For some, this means even spending your life, searching for this purpose.

I started having this conversation with myself- regarding purpose and it helped me understand what degree I should take, what careers I should explore.
My life’s purpose is to help myself first. Finding my own purpose is an extremely personal and lengthy journey and I started by asking myself “what makes me happy” “what makes me fulfilled” “what could I spend my life doing” “if I look back on my life when I’m old, what do I hope to have achieved”
I have read and experienced in significant ways that my life is built by what I make it, I am the author of my own story and that I have the obscure power to decide where I let life lead me.
No matter what anyone says, we all deserve happiness. It is not selfish, we may avoid making a gaudy show of it, certainly. I deserve to put myself first and clear my mind and body of stress and diseases.

While I have been fortunate, lived up mostly close to the images I carried in my wishlist, I have known friends who desired to bend the rules for the longest time. Many live a compromised life, by picking a degree that made others happy, choosing to sacrifice their own needs in order to meet those of others and in worst case scenarios they are morose about life and give up all hope.

This isn’t healthy, this isn’t what life is about. I may have moments and sometimes weeks of dip in my intention and effort. I am human.

Photo by Tracy Adams from Unsplash

And I am enough. I sit with that thought everyday. truly consider it and what that means.
It is nobody’s idea but my own when it comes to making the final decision on what I truly want from myself. The curiosity and in some cases, the ignorance or even indifference of others must not overwhelm me. In a time of crisis, the best of us lose sight of our boundaries and that of our loved ones. However when it comes to difficult times, the people who matter most will be supportive and understand.

I have learnt that ones who have an honest connection with me will surely understand.

I realised the law of attraction is so real. Once I started seeing the beautiful in myself, others see it and admire it as well.
We all have so many silent admirers, people who fall a little in love with you when they see you on the street, in a bookshop, at a cafe or even in a parking bay.

The world gets a little better every time you actualise kindness and act with love. We are all human, you never know what others are going through. Smile at a stranger, wave thanks to people in traffic, appreciate customer service. It’s the small acts that add up.
I am consumed by an appreciation for the simple. Again, I believe in competition. Without competition, the brain would be a dead organ. But it ought to be healthy competition. Where I give it a go, I sweat it out, I release all that I withhold. The result thereof must only temporarily stay with me. That’s all there is to it. These are my favourite words of wisdom for my elder son.
I want to be gentle with myself.

I wish to take more deep breaths and perform more compassionate acts towards myself first.
Because of all the people in the world, I love myself first and most.

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Why you must not worry too much, about not being able to get anything done…

“The idea of divine inspiration and an aha moment is largely a fantasy. Anything of value comes from hard work and unwavering dedication. If you want to be a good artist you need to look at other artists, make a lot of crappy art, and just keep working.” — Sydney Pink

Whether you’re a painter, food artist, singer, sports writer, web designer, photographer, or another type of artist – there are going to be days where you find it extremely difficult to create something.

Few days ago, my mind was worried and I was caught up in a cycle of stress about other things.
It was a basket of mixed feelings I had.
At times, Iam inspiration-less, where I have the motivation but just can’t think of anything good to do. At other times, Iam motivation-deprived, where I have the idea but just don’t really wanna.
The last and my least favourite but most familiar state, where Iam so pumped to get this thing done! But there’s that other thing, and, your show is on, or your kids steal you, you figure that you are listed at other jobs, and you’ll just do it tomorrow.
The last one is most of us.
Soon, I wasn’t surprised that I was struggling to create anything at all!

Motivating yourself to be productive isn’t always easy. Some days, boredom takes over and the last thing you want to do is strike off your to-do list. Maybe I have a hard time motivating myself to do chores around the house or exercise or start that big plan for work. But whatever tasks I struggle with the most, it’s possible to overcome laziness and be my most productive self at home, at work, or wherever.
I have been writing for a while now and when I look back at some of the things I wrote a few months or even a year ago, I see how much my skills have improved and my thought process and style has taken some decent shape.

If you are an artist, you’ve had days where you hit a wall with your creativity. You don’t know what to paint, you’re not sure where to start, and you don’t really have the motivation to create anything. You have zero inspiration. Sound familiar?

Having said this, recently I figured a light hearted solution to my problem. I roped in, my elder son. We decided that each one of us will execute a productive act before the end of day, each day. At the end of the day, we must talk to each other about what we did. This, I thought, would atleast encourage my ‘son’ to become more disciplined about his days. Over a week I learnt that I was embarassing myself. Interestingly, he took the deal quite seriously. Recording my excuse everyday was getting harder and so was to expect him to believe the same ones, over and over.
Try this for yourself. I assure you the urge to procrastinate itself will dwindle. This is how I got over with it. I cannot guarantee this method for all of you out there but believe in yourself and always think of what you care for the most in this world before doing anything.

My best advice for anyone, if you’re art blocked and feeling uninspired to create your specific art that you excel at, is to do another kind of art. Paint with actual paint and brushes, make paper crafts, record some music, repaint a picture, edit a video, sculpt something, decorate a notebook, sew something, make a comic, look at memes, start a youtube channel with a new theme.. just like do something you don’t do every single day and it’ll feel new and cool and fun and inspiring.

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Lost in a sea of emotions!

Has it ever happened, that you started reading a book, and you couldn’t resist from finishing the book as soon as possible…?

It was the only thing in mind those days , and whenever you get the time, either at work, or even during commute to work, be at home or a pleasant evening in the park, you were just thinking about a particular scene in the book.

One of my favourite book is The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Khaled Hosseini’s writing in this book is so vivid that one can actually visualise all the scenes.

The reason this book occupies a special place in my memory is the recitation of heartrending paragraphs and dialogues. The complex nature of human relations against a dangerous and hopelessly fearsome backdrop makes this book not just a story of longing but also of deepest human emotions.

Khaled Hosseini in this book, indicates that the popular notion that time heals all wounds is just not true. It also drives home the assurance how friendships formed in the young age don’t perish with the passage of time.

This book explores the life of a misfit and his urge to be accepted by the society.

This book is a must read, if you have ever felt the pain of separation, if you have ever felt guilt beyond measure, if you have always been a misfit.

Reading emotionally twisted novels certainly isn’t my endgame..books on spies and terror being my personal favourite…but still some of us love to be captivated by stories that reaches us on multiple levels, including longing and specially in my case, stoic relationships.

Perhaps, we like these stories because they effortlessly connect us with people and circumstances that we dream up in our own minds. That we relate them to our subconscious selves, makes the impact significantly deeper.

Do books make me cry? I would wonder sometimes, is there anything better than a good cry?
I haven’t come across an experience as wonderful as that yet. But I understand, the emotional release some readers get which is so deeply satisfying that it can power them for days.

Human experience is quite similar yet reading the powerful, joyful and sometimes heart-wrenching stories of others can be a life changer.
Always, they will be a part of my growing collection.

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