We are all just trying our best to figure ourselves out.

The good years of my life were mostly lived in disharmony. Infact quite similar to few of us- the unlucky ones on the planet.

I spent a considerable number of years, living in the past, worrying about something that happened, or in the future worrying about what’s yet to come. All the while, wasting the present moment, the one I actually have some control over. I have often wondered how different life would be now, if I had been more mindful and less judgemental.
What if I had appreciated every moment of my life by the minute.
Organically speaking, that rarely happens you see. Unless we have a terrific insight and the presence of mind, to logically transport ourselves through reality and common sense.

I have spent a considerable part of my life, comparing myself to other people. At every stage of my life, at every milestone I accomplished, there was someone who always seemed like competition. My paths and timelines were different and set up at a non linear pace, yet someone accomplishing a milestone before me, gave me a fear of being left behind. Someone else finding success before me, made me doubt my own accomplishments.

I had a great job and yet I used to wish day and night, to move back in with friends or family, back to the city I loved.

Friends were getting married before me and I thought I never will.

I would be be considerate of others and let them walk all over me because I was taught being nice is the only choice we have. It resulted in me having distorted boundaries.

You can be helpful and say no sometimes. I was a good person and the favourite feast for a pushover. I knew to be kind and didnt know how to keep unreciprocating takers at a distance.

I had not set limits because I did not want then, to be a bad person. You know what I mean.

What did I do everyday that has in bits, changed my life, slowly but surely. I am a more patient woman and less likely to be perturbed by anyone with disturbing behavior.

I broke my old practices.

I was expecting a different result without significantly changing my routine.
There was a stage of my life where I was stuck. My life was going nowhere.
I was in a job I didn’t really like, doing work I didn’t care about. And to distract myself, I was living a disarrayed life, mostly without a routine or set discipline. I used to eat out mindlessly, have no concerns about time and impact, be wasteful in my spending. I was young, earning well and independent.

I’m so guilty of wanting change without doing anything to get it. I realized that I need to change something about I did everyday, to make action; infact enjoyable and productive action a habit, for me to make anything out if my life.

Comparison kills all the fun!

I had a fetish for reading and writing since I remember. I used to particularly be in awe of friends who were into book publishing and content writing or even the print media or the otherwise agonizing advertising.
I have friends now, who would say the same in return. They loved their jobs but at the same time enjoyed my routine. I have met some of them recently who struggle to spend quality time with family and would do anything to be in my place.
Comparison is something that most of us struggle with, even more now when we compare our behind-the-scenes to someone’s highlight life on social media. The likes on Facebook are as worthy as oxygen to a dying patient sometimes.

We forget that we don’t know the whole story, it’s just a feed where we put the best version of ourselves.

I wouldn’t click a picture of myself after I have had a terrible deal with my husband with a f*cked up status line.
And so many of us, judge each others lives through such digital projection. I love social media. I am a freak sometimes. But it should be just that. Freaky and fun. I don’t attach any more meaning to it anymore. I have true admiration for anything that doesn’t steal my joy anymore.

Have faith.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason. A lot of things in my life, totally inexplicable at times have made

a lot if sense years later, in computation.
Me meeting the man of my world, in a city, I didn’t like much, is one such example.
I thought cultures would be distant and so would be our lives together.
Today he is my best friend, comfort and kickass buddy. I have understood very clearly that life happens, things don’t always go according to the plan and it’s important to have faith that everything will work out in the end. Maybe not as we thought it would. But it will get me exactly where I would be at peace with myself.

What is there to control, really!

I am by nature a very anxious person. It is quite a challenge for me to accept things as they are. This is particularly in case with my children. I am a perfectionist. I like things a certain way. I thought I would be the best mom. And all that frugal nonsense that comes alive with being a mother.
Two handsome boys hence now, I can bravely say that any such thought is utter bullshit.
My elder son was reeling with terrible breathing concerns till age 3 and I almost thought he had ADHD.
Years later he has no trace of any of that.
Perhaps I have imbibed both the problems.
Trust me, the only control you have is of you and your thoughts.
We cannot even control what our best friends and family think of us sometimes.

I have understood that it is just not possible for people to abandon their intelligence and use yours.don’t have control over what other people think of you. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why don’t you get up and go do something about it? Let go of what you can’t control and accept what you can.

Very easy to write that. But believe me, either that or pain for life. I am a much more patient person today with the second child.

Love yourself.

We need adulation. Human beings are an interdependent species. We live in a world where we cannot antagonize the truth of togetherness.
I used to believe that you need to love yourself in order be loved by someone else. That’s what people said. But I don’t agree with it 100% anymore. No matter where you are on that journey, you deserve to be loved by others, and yourself. As much as I love myself, the love front others makes my life more enjoyable and worth the time.

Being truly oneself

For most of us , this is utter rubbish. Already we are a magnet for trouble. The how does continuing on similar knowledge fetch any more good.
It has become quite the cliche but it never hurts to say it one more time, especially for those of us struggling with it.
The truth is that I have tried acting different. In more majestic ways, sometimes imbibing qualities which I sae in others, even when they didn’t come to me naturally. After a point it is uneasy and disturbing. It makes you irritable.

It sounds stylish to be flawed and quirky. The often repeated embrace yourself, need not be dramatic. Simply being yourself and taking truthful steps is magic enough in the current world.
When we let go off, the wierd things people think about us, it makes it possible to live easy without constant speed catching with others expectations.

We look funny doing that race.

Everyone is attractive when you look closely.

I look around me and as crazy as it may be, everyone motivates me. I don’t know why it is like that.

Maybe I compare myself so hard and I find fault in most of what I do.
Well technically, that’s not the best way to explain this point, but it is aboutbeing honest right?
Considering the amount of toxic people around you, at any given time, it is a blessing to to able to look up to anybody with a lesson to teach.

My neighbor who leaves her two year old son with a help at home, with no one else to watch over, because she had to earn a collective living for the family, has taught me that mother’s out there, do astounding work. She shows me strength and passion for her family.

Those small moments are damn big!

Ah, everyone says this one.
Where are those small moments. How do I know they exist? I am a confused person most times.
It can be tricky because your mind tends to look for big, exciting things.
Eventually after years of nonchalance, I still look back and know I could have lived my life better.

Those small moments, which I never saw have become a memory now and even today I grapple with what is small and presumably precious. I am learning everyday at hindsight.

Let’s keep the list alive and kicking. What has helped you collect yourself and be alive, when you were feeling lost?

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

We are all just trying our best to figure ourselves out

The good years of my life were mostly lived in disharmony. Infact quite similar to few of us- the unlucky ones on the planet. I spent a considerable number of years, living in the past, worrying about something that happened, or in the future worrying about what’s yet to come. All the while, wasting the present moment, the one I actually have some control over. I have often wondered how different life would be now, if I had been more mindful and less judgemental.
What if I had appreciated every moment of my life by the minute.
Organically speaking, that rarely happens you see. Unless we have a terrific insight and the presence of mind, to logically transport ourselves through reality and common sense.

I have spent a considerable part of my life, comparing myself to other people. At every stage of my life, at every milestone I accomplished, there was someone who always seemed like competition. My paths and timelines were different and set up at a non linear pace, yet someone accomplishing a milestone before me, gave me a fear of being left behind. Someone else finding success before me, made me doubt my own accomplishments.

I had a great job and yet I used to wish day and night, to move back in with friends or family, back to the city I loved.

Friends were getting married before me and I thought I never will.

I would be be considerate of others and let them walk all over me because I was taught being nice is the only choice we have. It resulted in me having distorted boundaries.

You can be helpful and say no sometimes. I was a good person and the favourite feast for a pushover. I knew to be kind and didnt know how to keep unreciprocating takers at a distance.

I had not set limits because I did not want then, to be a bad person. You know what I mean.

What did I do everyday that has in bits, changed my life, slowly but surely. I am a more patient woman and less likely to be perturbed by anyone with disturbing behavior.

I broke my old practices.

I was expecting a different result without significantly changing my routine.
There was a stage of my life where I was stuck. My life was going nowhere.
I was in a job I didn’t really like, doing work I didn’t care about. And to distract myself, I was living a disarrayed life, mostly without a routine or set discipline. I used to eat out mindlessly, have no concerns about time and impact, be wasteful in my spending. I was young, earning well and independent.

I’m so guilty of wanting change without doing anything to get it. I realized that I need to change something about I did everyday, to make action; infact enjoyable and productive action a habit, for me to make anything out if my life.

Comparison kills all the fun!

I had a fetish for reading and writing since I remember. I used to particularly be in awe of friends who were into book publishing and content writing or even the print media or the otherwise agonizing advertising.
I have friends now, who would say the same in return. They loved their jobs but at the same time enjoyed my routine. I have met some of them recently who struggle to spend quality time with family and would do anything to be in my place.
Comparison is something that most of us struggle with, even more now when we compare our behind-the-scenes to someone’s highlight life on social media. The likes on Facebook are as worthy as oxygen to a dying patient sometimes.
We forget that we don’t know the whole story, it’s just a feed where we put the best version of ourselves. I wouldn’t click a picture of myself after I have had a terrible deal with my husband with a f*cked up status line.
And so many of us, judge each others lives through such digital projection. I love social media. I am a freak sometimes. But it should be just that. Freaky and fun. I don’t attach any more meaning to it anymore. I have true admiration for anything that doesn’t steal my joy anymore.

Have faith.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason. A lot of things in my life, totally inexplicable at times have made a lot if sense years later, in computation.
Me meeting the man of my world, in a city, I didn’t like much, is one such example.
I thought cultures would be distant and so would be our lives together.
Today he is my best friend, comfort and kickass buddy. I have understood very clearly that life happens, things don’t always go according to the plan and it’s important to have faith that everything will work out in the end. Maybe not as we thought it would. But it will get me exactly where I would be at peace with myself.

What is there to control, really!

I am by nature a very anxious person. It is quite a challenge for me to accept things as they are. This is particularly in case with my children. I am a perfectionist. I like things a certain way. I thought I would be the best mom. And all that frugal nonsense that comes alive with being a mother.

Two handsome boys hence now, I can bravely say that any such thought is utter bullshit.
My elder son was reeling with terrible breathing concerns till age 3 and I lmost thought he had ADHD.
Years later he has no trace of any of that.
Perhaps I have imbibed both the problems.
Trust me, the only control you have is of you and your thoughts.
We cannot even control what our best friends and family think of us sometimes. I have understood that it is just not possible for people to abandon their intelligence and use yours.don’t have control over what other people think of you. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why don’t you get up and go do something about it?

Let go of what you can’t control and accept what you can. Very wasy to write that. But believe me either that or pain for life. I am a much more patient person today with the second child.

Love yourself.

We need adulation. Human beings are an interdependent species. We live in a world where we cannot antagonize the truth of togetherness.
I used to believe that you need to love yourself in order be loved by someone else. That’s what people said. But I don’t agree with it 100% anymore. No matter where you are on that journey, you deserve to be loved by others, and yourself. As much as I love myself, the love front others makes my life more enjoyable and worth the time.

Being truly oneself

For most of us , this is utter rubbish. Already we are a magnet for trouble. The how does continuing on similar knowledge fetch any more good.
It has become quite the cliche but it never hurts to say it one more time,especially for those of us struggling with it.
The truth is that I have tried acting different. In more majestic ways, sometimes imbibing qualities which I sae in others, even when they didn’t come to me naturally. After a point it is uneasy and disturbing. It makes you irritable. It sounds stylish to be flawed and quirky. The often repeated embrace yourself, need not be dramatic. Simply being yourself and taking truthful steps is magic enough in the current world.
When we let go off, the wierd things people think about us, it makes it possible to live easy without constant speed catching with others expectations. We look funny doing that race.

Everyone is attractive when you look closely.

I look around me and as crazy as it may be, everyone motivates me. I don’t know why it is like that. Maybe I compare myself so hard and I find fault in most of what I do.
Well technically, that’s not the best way to explain this point, but it is about being honest right?
Considering the amount of toxic people around you, at any given time, it is a blessing to to able to look up to anybody with a lesson to teach.

My neighbor who leaves her two year old son with a help at home, with no one else to watch over, because she had to earn a collective living for the family, has taught me that mother’s out there, do astounding work. She shows me strength and passion for her family.

Those small moments are damn big!

Ah, everyone says this one.
Where are those small moments. How do I know they exist? I am a confused person most times.
It can be tricky because your mind tends to look for big, exciting things.
Eventually after years of nonchalance, I still look back and know I could have lived my life better. Those small moments, which I never saw have become a memory now and even today I grapple with what is small and presumably precious. I am learning everyday at hindsight.

Let’s keep the list alive and kicking. What has helped you collect yourself and be alive, when you were feeling lost?

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish

http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

My favourite sportsperson and what I want my sons to learn by watching him.

(Photo by Patrick Hendry from Unsplash)

I am a sports fan. The reason I write this article is to pen my thoughts on India’s most swashbuckling sportstar, Indian cricketer Virat Kohli. (also the current captain of the One day International and test matches)

Few days ago, my son suggested we play a game on famous sports personalities, from around the world. Each person says a name starting with the end letter of the sports person, the other person said.

According to the mood, I decided for myself that this list would purely be based on their handsomeness (combination of looks, personality and the way they carry themselves in public) , without necessarily taking their sports talent/skills into consideration. While most of them are sports legends- undoubtedly bothe women and men, some are relatively unknown or lesser-known. But all of them have played sports at international level.
Towards the end of our play, we had a little chat on whom we like the most in the respective sports arena. While my son is a huge admirer of football, I have my heart in cricket.
I remember my younger days when I used to be dad’s favourite companion in watching the sport. I used to have a thing or two to ask and would get annoyed when the game didn’t play out on television, the way I would envisage.

I enjoy the game for all it’s deadly combination of collective calm and individual prowess. In today’s time, if I had to chooses one cricketer as the strongest in the world, it would be none other than Virat Kohli!
And trust me, my reasons have nothing to do with anything but his character as a cricketer.

Okay, so let’s unpack my sentiments about him. You don’t like a person. There are qualities and actions of a person you like.

  • I like his unwavering focus on the game.
  • I like how he would hurl expletives when pumped up because that was his way of showing how involved he is in what he’s doing.
  • I like it when he jumps and punches the air when he scores a fifty or a hundred and when he takes the team past the finish line because that shows how much he wants it to happen.
  • I like to see his exercise videos on social media because that will inspire at least a few people who idolise him to become fit.
  • I like to see him sing and dance with team mates,( my son has exhausted his chances of the gangnam style dance video) where he shows that he’s not just about sports and fitness.
  • I am a fan of his passion for cricket and his supreme adaptability.
  • He is strong not physically alone but also from the mind. He is not bogged down, appears to take things as they come, plays to win and is unaffected by any type of criticism. His focus while playing cricket is at another level. When he is there at the crease, he puts up a fight against the opposition and at the same time keeps enjoying his game.

This man combines hard-work, intelligence and a spirit to fight and win, and I would spend money on watching him with my sons, for as long as, they can take those positives back home!

(Thankyou for reading the article!)

Do follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/
http://nishakartik.blogspot.com/
View at Medium.com

I love you guys, but spare me your sarcasm…

‘Listen, smile, agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.’
Robert Downey Jr.

(Photo by Christian Lambert from Unsplash)

Every time we level up in life, we have to readjust our boundaries. what was okay before, no longer works. The people in our lives, self care rituals, the environments, and situations we engage with must all adjust and meet our new vibrational frequency, in order to be sustained.

I understand sarcasm. People use it often in their interactions. We all do. While on most occasions it is supposed to indicate friendly banter, it is belittling to many.

Here I share my thoughts about the harmful kind.

I have noticed how, for some people it’s practically the primary language, absolutely intended specifically to make the other person feel stupid. When you’re always sarcastic, people won’t want to be around you because people don’t want to feel stupid.Sarcasm has a two-faced quality: it’s both funny and mean.

In their defence, I could say that it gives them an internal satisfaction, inner peace and a feeling that could be compared to a-punch-in-the-face through their mean words.
Not only is it rude, but I’ve found that people who are “always sarcastic” tend to be unfunny.
I have ceased to interact with many friends because of their terrible addiction for self depreciation and when you don’t play the ball with them, they feel strained and nurture this obsessive need to spew nursed bitterness.
Often, many of them are left wondering why I don’t speak to them anymore.

I feel attracted to charming men and women. People who exude charm assume that no body is boring; they realize that when you’re contemplating a person’s story or their passions, you are genuinely looking for more information about them, and they’re going to value you for this.

I am forty and have had a fair share of bullying and sarcastic friends in my journey yet. I can say confidently that I have learnt my way around this terror. Some of them are unrelenting.

They would want to figure out why you wouldn’t want to connect with them anymore, as you learn to live around them. It’s a tongue in cheek situation. It is the easiest to ignore them and make it known in polite ways, that perhaps you are busy or would connect with them at a time soonest when you can.
People that like to be vindictive with words and poke fun at somebody, apparently in a friendly situation, really don’t have much going on with their intellectual mechanisms and have a lot of growing up to do. I mean really how boring do you have to be to take pleasure in somebody else’s embarrassment and unease. I can think of a million and one things I’d rather do, than that.

Over the years, I told myself, that most of the time when people point out others faults, its to draw attention away from their own. I don’t have the skill for reverse sarcasm and I convince myself again, that I am a decent human being and I am better than that right?

(Thankyou for reading this article!)

Do follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/
http://nishakartik.blogspot.com/
View at Medium.com