Tag: inspirational

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The real reason good friendships are so hard to come by.

Anxious but trying is the motto of my life!

I think I’m okay most of the time after these ridiculous evening self talks.

Talking to oneself and setting matters straight with one’s heart matters more because at the end of the day, nobody else gives a fuck about you and how you’re going to feel no matter how open you are to them.

Sometimes I think I need to talk out loud inside a room.
Because sometimes you see, you are your best person.

There, I said it.

I am a poor judge of people.

Even more when it comes to recognizing a solid friend.
Of course, to have good friends you have to be a good friend.

It means showing up.

If you never text back and you cancel every get-together…you will not get back deep friendship.
It means making sacrifices. Friendship requires sacrifice.

It means pursuing.

It means sending texts to check in on them about that thing they were worried about. It means grabbing a memory and making a quick call telling them you’re thinking of them.

It means asking them to meet up for a glass of wine on a sunny afternoon.
It means texting back when you’re almost asleep and telling them you miss them.
I think it’s important to make sacrifices for the friends that you choose. Maybe that means meeting up with them when you don’t feel like it. Maybe it’s doing something you don’t want to do to help them out.

It means choosing.

Well, you cannot give the same level of friendship to everyone. You have to choose the people you are going to give your heart to.

Good friends dont-

1.stay too busy for you, too long.

2. Listen to what you have to say, solely for responding with a ready-made solution.

3. Don’t show you negativity and do negative talk about your bad situation.

4. Allow fearful thoughts to navigate your brain for long.
5. Show off to you that they are perfect.

6. Tell you that they have limited time for you or that they have to struggle to make time for you.

7. Blame you or complain about you or compare you to other friends and situations.

8. Don’t just talk about loving yourself more, as a motto but show you why you are so damn lovable and cherished.

There are certain people who make the world a better place just by being in it. They seem to carry the strongest glue around with them. And sometimes, we just wish to drown ourselves in the feels they give us.
Those are the ones I think reside in our hearts forever.

How can we be these angels and good friends to others –

1. It costs nothing to be a very sweet and kind person. All you gotta do is to be a kind hearted person. That’s all.

2. Good friends treat you well, are super loyal and are incredibly protective of the ones they trust and love.

3. Most of them can be a little standoffish when you first get to meet them, but that’s only because they don’t like letting anyone in. Once they do open up, though, they are a bundle of love.

4. Again and again, they are compassionate and kind and their loyalty to loved ones is unmatched.

5. You don’t hesitate to talk to them. With them, you just know you are not alone.

6. You don’t worry about being vulnerable with them.

7. You just wouldn’t know what to do without them. Period.

8. They always, always listen to you and always notice what you are going through.

9. They are respectful.

10. They compliment you a lot and some of them are great huggers.

11. They dress you up in confidence all the time.

It’s definitely okay to choose the people you invest in; sometimes spending enough time with a friend opens your eyes to existing realities. Perhaps you overstayed in a relationship. Sometimes and often times, they would not know how to communicate lack of space in their hearts for you.
We all need this. Safe friendships. We just weren’t meant to travel this life alone and in my opinion, there’s no time we need each other more than as we grow older and lonelier.

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Extremely sensitive people are not doormats or idiots.

I, the one, who is very sensitive.

I am the worst human being on the planet. They hate me. That’s it, I have ruined my relationships forever. I will never be forgiven. Why would they? What I did, whatever it was,was unforgivable. I feel guilty for things going wrong. I can feel their pain in my own chest. I am so heavy with this burden. Nothing can improve this.. Might as well leave hope.

‘She looks very loving and caring but prefers to distance herself from everyone, she is empath but keeps her emotions hidden away, is very hot-headed and protective of her loved ones.’

Have you ever felt like you can’t chill with certain people because they somehow drain your energy? Have you ever felt overwhelming emotions out of the bloom? Have you ever felt drawn to certain people to realize they somehow need your help? Have you ever felt like surrounding yourself around people can be overwhelming or watching the news is killing you inside?
There was a time where I never believed in something like this. Until it happened to me. I never knew it was a “thing” until I after reading a lot of articles (at the time) googled it, to find out that I was indeed an Empath.

Now for those who never heard about “Empath” you are probably thinking “The fuck is that?” 🤷🏼‍♀️

WHAT IS AN EMPATH?
People differ in their understanding of empathy.
According to Google’s dictionary definition, empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”

To many people, it is commonly associated with sympathy, sensitivity, and oftentimes, weakness.
But what exactly is an empath? An empath is an extremely emotionally sensitive individual. Someone who reads situations well based on emotions and unspoken vibes.

I have had my perilous moments psychologically, when people, also friends often criticize me for being “too sensitive”.
I used to get hit with random emotions during or after being around other people.
My pain tolerance is low, both emotionally or physically.
Positive energy makes me feel like warm sunbeams are cascading around me and I have a strong impulse to be kind and compassionate towards others who are around me.

Mostly, I often feel drained after being around negative people for extended periods of time.

And I used to typically find myself surrounded by these characters.
Now this is indeed not an easy trait to have, we’ve all probably encountered that person who is a ‘total crybaby’ or who just feels too much and gets riled up easily.
And it can be misleading if you only use your eyes when looking at these people, you may see them and think, wow, what a crybaby! or you may think they are weak or too soft.
But! This is all a big misunderstanding!

I used to get legitimately angry about people’s feelings intruding so much into my mental space. On some days, èvery single thing felt like a nail on a wall. Every disappointed punctuation mark feels like gaslighting. Everything that is wrong feels like my responsibility. Friends who don’t get back to you even on their own whims, you feel you must reach out to them. And it gets so tiresome some days, that there is no fucking reprieve from it that I just want to scream’ will you just stop feeling around me!’

Typically, the people who make you feel useless are self centered and you instantly feel tired, uneasy, afraid or sad around them. They take advantage of your compassion through guilt tripping also at the same time lean on you as if you are a crutch.
Some might even be over dramatic in their evaluation of you.
Evidently, your stomach churns at the thought of being around them and you feel physically sick, anxious, angry and or depressed after spending time with them.
They typically dismiss your feelings or events going on in your life

Clearly, this is abusive.

How can I protect myself?
I will have to cut these energy vampires out of my life.
I am just trying to make it through life, same as everyone else.
Being kind is beautiful, but here’s the catch. If you are too nice to the point where you let people step over you, then it’s a fucking problem.
I am especially when I shouldn’t be to people I shouldn’t but, I can’t help it. I am working on it.

For all of us who struggle, I say this. Its alright to be sensitive. I guess that’s how you pay when you have magic in your heart.

I do attract narcissistic people. I am finally aware of it and wonder if it is something to be proud of. I am though I could not be any other way. I really do not show it from the outside.I put on a good front.You may call it a mask.

In my head the logic is very simple: people who don’t have empathy, can’t imagine someone else who does.
Because we only truly know what we have experienced in life.

As soon as understanding and logic kick in, the manipulative tactics of an aggressive person, no longer have an effect on you. Total understanding and clarity sans emotional entanglement lead you to freedom.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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We are all just trying our best to figure ourselves out.

The good years of my life were mostly lived in disharmony. Infact quite similar to few of us- the unlucky ones on the planet.

I spent a considerable number of years, living in the past, worrying about something that happened, or in the future worrying about what’s yet to come. All the while, wasting the present moment, the one I actually have some control over. I have often wondered how different life would be now, if I had been more mindful and less judgemental.
What if I had appreciated every moment of my life by the minute.
Organically speaking, that rarely happens you see. Unless we have a terrific insight and the presence of mind, to logically transport ourselves through reality and common sense.

I have spent a considerable part of my life, comparing myself to other people. At every stage of my life, at every milestone I accomplished, there was someone who always seemed like competition. My paths and timelines were different and set up at a non linear pace, yet someone accomplishing a milestone before me, gave me a fear of being left behind. Someone else finding success before me, made me doubt my own accomplishments.

I had a great job and yet I used to wish day and night, to move back in with friends or family, back to the city I loved.

Friends were getting married before me and I thought I never will.

I would be be considerate of others and let them walk all over me because I was taught being nice is the only choice we have. It resulted in me having distorted boundaries.

You can be helpful and say no sometimes. I was a good person and the favourite feast for a pushover. I knew to be kind and didnt know how to keep unreciprocating takers at a distance.

I had not set limits because I did not want then, to be a bad person. You know what I mean.

What did I do everyday that has in bits, changed my life, slowly but surely. I am a more patient woman and less likely to be perturbed by anyone with disturbing behavior.

I broke my old practices.

I was expecting a different result without significantly changing my routine.
There was a stage of my life where I was stuck. My life was going nowhere.
I was in a job I didn’t really like, doing work I didn’t care about. And to distract myself, I was living a disarrayed life, mostly without a routine or set discipline. I used to eat out mindlessly, have no concerns about time and impact, be wasteful in my spending. I was young, earning well and independent.

I’m so guilty of wanting change without doing anything to get it. I realized that I need to change something about I did everyday, to make action; infact enjoyable and productive action a habit, for me to make anything out if my life.

Comparison kills all the fun!

I had a fetish for reading and writing since I remember. I used to particularly be in awe of friends who were into book publishing and content writing or even the print media or the otherwise agonizing advertising.
I have friends now, who would say the same in return. They loved their jobs but at the same time enjoyed my routine. I have met some of them recently who struggle to spend quality time with family and would do anything to be in my place.
Comparison is something that most of us struggle with, even more now when we compare our behind-the-scenes to someone’s highlight life on social media. The likes on Facebook are as worthy as oxygen to a dying patient sometimes.

We forget that we don’t know the whole story, it’s just a feed where we put the best version of ourselves.

I wouldn’t click a picture of myself after I have had a terrible deal with my husband with a f*cked up status line.
And so many of us, judge each others lives through such digital projection. I love social media. I am a freak sometimes. But it should be just that. Freaky and fun. I don’t attach any more meaning to it anymore. I have true admiration for anything that doesn’t steal my joy anymore.

Have faith.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason. A lot of things in my life, totally inexplicable at times have made

a lot if sense years later, in computation.
Me meeting the man of my world, in a city, I didn’t like much, is one such example.
I thought cultures would be distant and so would be our lives together.
Today he is my best friend, comfort and kickass buddy. I have understood very clearly that life happens, things don’t always go according to the plan and it’s important to have faith that everything will work out in the end. Maybe not as we thought it would. But it will get me exactly where I would be at peace with myself.

What is there to control, really!

I am by nature a very anxious person. It is quite a challenge for me to accept things as they are. This is particularly in case with my children. I am a perfectionist. I like things a certain way. I thought I would be the best mom. And all that frugal nonsense that comes alive with being a mother.
Two handsome boys hence now, I can bravely say that any such thought is utter bullshit.
My elder son was reeling with terrible breathing concerns till age 3 and I almost thought he had ADHD.
Years later he has no trace of any of that.
Perhaps I have imbibed both the problems.
Trust me, the only control you have is of you and your thoughts.
We cannot even control what our best friends and family think of us sometimes.

I have understood that it is just not possible for people to abandon their intelligence and use yours.don’t have control over what other people think of you. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why don’t you get up and go do something about it? Let go of what you can’t control and accept what you can.

Very easy to write that. But believe me, either that or pain for life. I am a much more patient person today with the second child.

Love yourself.

We need adulation. Human beings are an interdependent species. We live in a world where we cannot antagonize the truth of togetherness.
I used to believe that you need to love yourself in order be loved by someone else. That’s what people said. But I don’t agree with it 100% anymore. No matter where you are on that journey, you deserve to be loved by others, and yourself. As much as I love myself, the love front others makes my life more enjoyable and worth the time.

Being truly oneself

For most of us , this is utter rubbish. Already we are a magnet for trouble. The how does continuing on similar knowledge fetch any more good.
It has become quite the cliche but it never hurts to say it one more time, especially for those of us struggling with it.
The truth is that I have tried acting different. In more majestic ways, sometimes imbibing qualities which I sae in others, even when they didn’t come to me naturally. After a point it is uneasy and disturbing. It makes you irritable.

It sounds stylish to be flawed and quirky. The often repeated embrace yourself, need not be dramatic. Simply being yourself and taking truthful steps is magic enough in the current world.
When we let go off, the wierd things people think about us, it makes it possible to live easy without constant speed catching with others expectations.

We look funny doing that race.

Everyone is attractive when you look closely.

I look around me and as crazy as it may be, everyone motivates me. I don’t know why it is like that.

Maybe I compare myself so hard and I find fault in most of what I do.
Well technically, that’s not the best way to explain this point, but it is aboutbeing honest right?
Considering the amount of toxic people around you, at any given time, it is a blessing to to able to look up to anybody with a lesson to teach.

My neighbor who leaves her two year old son with a help at home, with no one else to watch over, because she had to earn a collective living for the family, has taught me that mother’s out there, do astounding work. She shows me strength and passion for her family.

Those small moments are damn big!

Ah, everyone says this one.
Where are those small moments. How do I know they exist? I am a confused person most times.
It can be tricky because your mind tends to look for big, exciting things.
Eventually after years of nonchalance, I still look back and know I could have lived my life better.

Those small moments, which I never saw have become a memory now and even today I grapple with what is small and presumably precious. I am learning everyday at hindsight.

Let’s keep the list alive and kicking. What has helped you collect yourself and be alive, when you were feeling lost?

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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Music is a safe kind of high! The reason I stay intoxicated.

I think people who can play a musical instrument, or can sing and dance, are extremely attractive.

Every single time I have learned that a person can sing, or play a musical instrument really well, or groove to the beats of the song in the background with a droolworthy ease, I have almost always developed a crush on them. And I’ve always requested them to play something or sing, when I meet them.
I wrote this to pen my running thoughts on music.
I instantly develop a liking towards people with similar taste in music as mine.
When I was younger, I attended quite a few concerts. I do not know really, why I don’t do that anymore.
My favorite part of concerts was when the band plays a song everyone knows, so everyone sings along, all out of tune.
But then the singer stops singing the words to the music and you see the smiles on the band members’ faces because they know that people care about their music; and that is one of the most beautiful things to see!
What exactly drives us and makes us impassioned about a certain genre?
I feel lots of things. Most of the time, I feel the song provides a nice background to my current existence as I try to wade over the loud, concrete city traffic snarl.
Some music gives me much more than a peaceful environment, and I have trouble actually putting words to that.
A certain section of my playlist with country collection, gives me such feelings of nostalgia that I am almost transferred to another time, often that feeling is of a memory or emotion that I can’t quite hold in my mind. Some music gives me energy; I seldom listen while writing, but surely, the songs play in my head, giving me a boost!
Some songs (some you would expect, some not) move me deeply. These are actually the strangest, because these feelings I cannot control at all and at the same time these are the ones I cherish most, if that makes sense.
When the written word, a passage in a book or a poem, moves me I think I know why, but when a piece of music does, I can’t really tell. Even if it’s accompanied by a wonderful piece of lyrics, it’s the music that tips the wages.
We all have a favorite tune though.
Mine is when sometimes a song can blind me to what I may be doing, strip me away of my defenses and makes me vulnerable.
Personally, I listen to music everywhere I am, with my own company ; there’s no location too remote, no setting too complicated no work too intense for me not to have a soundtrack to it. I am on my laptop right now and there is music playing, in the background. When I get into my car and start the engine, music starts playing. When I put my sons to sleep and spend some time beneath the ceiling stars, we enjoy the soundtrack of Alvin and the chipmunks, lately.
Does music heal?
I think so. You are what you listen to.
Dense aura grows on me rapidly. I use music to deal with my thoughts daily.
Music for me is like the background for my work, my routine existence.
Think of it like frosting on a cake.
The cake is good… But the frosting makes it better!
If I’m feeling particularly sad?
Yes, maybe something to get my brains not sway into the negative zone.
If I’m feeling happy? Great! Music can amp it up.
I don’t know if I must call it “treatment” like to be therapeutic? I’m not sure. I guess I wouldn’t know due to the fact that I am only saying it from my own experience and not from a professional stand.
It does help me though.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
http://sayitnish.com/

Posted on

We are all just trying our best to figure ourselves out

The good years of my life were mostly lived in disharmony. Infact quite similar to few of us- the unlucky ones on the planet. I spent a considerable number of years, living in the past, worrying about something that happened, or in the future worrying about what’s yet to come. All the while, wasting the present moment, the one I actually have some control over. I have often wondered how different life would be now, if I had been more mindful and less judgemental.
What if I had appreciated every moment of my life by the minute.
Organically speaking, that rarely happens you see. Unless we have a terrific insight and the presence of mind, to logically transport ourselves through reality and common sense.

I have spent a considerable part of my life, comparing myself to other people. At every stage of my life, at every milestone I accomplished, there was someone who always seemed like competition. My paths and timelines were different and set up at a non linear pace, yet someone accomplishing a milestone before me, gave me a fear of being left behind. Someone else finding success before me, made me doubt my own accomplishments.

I had a great job and yet I used to wish day and night, to move back in with friends or family, back to the city I loved.

Friends were getting married before me and I thought I never will.

I would be be considerate of others and let them walk all over me because I was taught being nice is the only choice we have. It resulted in me having distorted boundaries.

You can be helpful and say no sometimes. I was a good person and the favourite feast for a pushover. I knew to be kind and didnt know how to keep unreciprocating takers at a distance.

I had not set limits because I did not want then, to be a bad person. You know what I mean.

What did I do everyday that has in bits, changed my life, slowly but surely. I am a more patient woman and less likely to be perturbed by anyone with disturbing behavior.

I broke my old practices.

I was expecting a different result without significantly changing my routine.
There was a stage of my life where I was stuck. My life was going nowhere.
I was in a job I didn’t really like, doing work I didn’t care about. And to distract myself, I was living a disarrayed life, mostly without a routine or set discipline. I used to eat out mindlessly, have no concerns about time and impact, be wasteful in my spending. I was young, earning well and independent.

I’m so guilty of wanting change without doing anything to get it. I realized that I need to change something about I did everyday, to make action; infact enjoyable and productive action a habit, for me to make anything out if my life.

Comparison kills all the fun!

I had a fetish for reading and writing since I remember. I used to particularly be in awe of friends who were into book publishing and content writing or even the print media or the otherwise agonizing advertising.
I have friends now, who would say the same in return. They loved their jobs but at the same time enjoyed my routine. I have met some of them recently who struggle to spend quality time with family and would do anything to be in my place.
Comparison is something that most of us struggle with, even more now when we compare our behind-the-scenes to someone’s highlight life on social media. The likes on Facebook are as worthy as oxygen to a dying patient sometimes.
We forget that we don’t know the whole story, it’s just a feed where we put the best version of ourselves. I wouldn’t click a picture of myself after I have had a terrible deal with my husband with a f*cked up status line.
And so many of us, judge each others lives through such digital projection. I love social media. I am a freak sometimes. But it should be just that. Freaky and fun. I don’t attach any more meaning to it anymore. I have true admiration for anything that doesn’t steal my joy anymore.

Have faith.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason. A lot of things in my life, totally inexplicable at times have made a lot if sense years later, in computation.
Me meeting the man of my world, in a city, I didn’t like much, is one such example.
I thought cultures would be distant and so would be our lives together.
Today he is my best friend, comfort and kickass buddy. I have understood very clearly that life happens, things don’t always go according to the plan and it’s important to have faith that everything will work out in the end. Maybe not as we thought it would. But it will get me exactly where I would be at peace with myself.

What is there to control, really!

I am by nature a very anxious person. It is quite a challenge for me to accept things as they are. This is particularly in case with my children. I am a perfectionist. I like things a certain way. I thought I would be the best mom. And all that frugal nonsense that comes alive with being a mother.

Two handsome boys hence now, I can bravely say that any such thought is utter bullshit.
My elder son was reeling with terrible breathing concerns till age 3 and I lmost thought he had ADHD.
Years later he has no trace of any of that.
Perhaps I have imbibed both the problems.
Trust me, the only control you have is of you and your thoughts.
We cannot even control what our best friends and family think of us sometimes. I have understood that it is just not possible for people to abandon their intelligence and use yours.don’t have control over what other people think of you. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why don’t you get up and go do something about it?

Let go of what you can’t control and accept what you can. Very wasy to write that. But believe me either that or pain for life. I am a much more patient person today with the second child.

Love yourself.

We need adulation. Human beings are an interdependent species. We live in a world where we cannot antagonize the truth of togetherness.
I used to believe that you need to love yourself in order be loved by someone else. That’s what people said. But I don’t agree with it 100% anymore. No matter where you are on that journey, you deserve to be loved by others, and yourself. As much as I love myself, the love front others makes my life more enjoyable and worth the time.

Being truly oneself

For most of us , this is utter rubbish. Already we are a magnet for trouble. The how does continuing on similar knowledge fetch any more good.
It has become quite the cliche but it never hurts to say it one more time,especially for those of us struggling with it.
The truth is that I have tried acting different. In more majestic ways, sometimes imbibing qualities which I sae in others, even when they didn’t come to me naturally. After a point it is uneasy and disturbing. It makes you irritable. It sounds stylish to be flawed and quirky. The often repeated embrace yourself, need not be dramatic. Simply being yourself and taking truthful steps is magic enough in the current world.
When we let go off, the wierd things people think about us, it makes it possible to live easy without constant speed catching with others expectations. We look funny doing that race.

Everyone is attractive when you look closely.

I look around me and as crazy as it may be, everyone motivates me. I don’t know why it is like that. Maybe I compare myself so hard and I find fault in most of what I do.
Well technically, that’s not the best way to explain this point, but it is about being honest right?
Considering the amount of toxic people around you, at any given time, it is a blessing to to able to look up to anybody with a lesson to teach.

My neighbor who leaves her two year old son with a help at home, with no one else to watch over, because she had to earn a collective living for the family, has taught me that mother’s out there, do astounding work. She shows me strength and passion for her family.

Those small moments are damn big!

Ah, everyone says this one.
Where are those small moments. How do I know they exist? I am a confused person most times.
It can be tricky because your mind tends to look for big, exciting things.
Eventually after years of nonchalance, I still look back and know I could have lived my life better. Those small moments, which I never saw have become a memory now and even today I grapple with what is small and presumably precious. I am learning everyday at hindsight.

Let’s keep the list alive and kicking. What has helped you collect yourself and be alive, when you were feeling lost?

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish

http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

Posted on

I am an Introvert and I know how to have some serious fun.

I am an introvert.

This word defines my existence- the quality of my interactions with others and myself, the quality of my creative self-expression, and the quality of the love in my heart.
Okay, having said that, how many of us cringe at being branded as shy!

We spend our lives fighting accusations of being stuck up, lonely, bashful, averse to conversations and a poor team player.

Infact more often than not, all the above is a figment of imagination.
Let me try and break it up at a general level.

We are alive, cheerful, listening and observing you. We may not talk to you about just everything you may bring to the table, but we will talk to you about life for hours.
And if we open up ourselves to you, know that it means you are very special to us.

Now, read this carefully-

‘As an introvert, I crave meaningful one to one conversation with a like-minded person. When in large groups, I tend to get quiet, and often I’ll get lost in the shuffle. I will shut down completely if the crowd is too large and loud. I’ll make an early exit as soon as I feel overwhelmed. The truth is, I feel more lonely in a large group than I would just being alone. Ahhh…but those conversations with just you and me are like magic. I come alive once again. I open up and invite you to know the real me. It kindles my heart and warms my soul when I capture your undivided attention . No disturbance, no distraction, no interruption.’

It is just our natural temperament and we contribute to the human race in bulk.

For those who struggle to understand if there is anything in life at all that we enjoy, let me try my bit-

1. To begin with most of us have a terrific sense of humour. We can be funny and interesting and most of you have no idea to what extremes.
2. When you see us enjoy that cup of coffee by ourselves, in a bookshop, we are not left out or looking for someone through eternity, to fill the gloom. We go looking for those corner spots.enjoying that perfect little state, between sociability and quiet.
3. When you ask me, why don’t you speak, in all probability I have nothing to say. I just enjoy sitting next to you and listening to you as you speak, crack jokes and having me in splits.Please don’t push me to produce any jokes of my own.
4. You cannot comprehend how much we like depth and space. We look for connections and will not let you go if we find you awesome. We will make it up to you, by entertaining you in our ridiculous ways.
5. Socializing can be draining on us, but trust us when we say, we will never let you be bored. We are full of ideas. Interesting ones. We may appear like we sit and stare at the ceiling when we are not with people, but we can process adventure in the most ordinary settings.
6. Want an understanding confidante! Everyone wants one. We will always be there for you. We dint speak much. And the least we will do is, speak about you to someone else. Most of the timez we are lazy to do that. Jokes apart, no one does practical behind-the-scene work as brilliantly as we do.

Being an extroverted, socially aplomb person is a great thing. I have no friends who are like me. They are all super extroverts. Infact, I will go a step ahead and announce that a couple of my closest and dearets friends, whom I talk to or chat with, almost everyday, are true party girls. They are beautiful, intelligent, socially brilliant and can attend a couple of rock shows, in the same day.

Don’t feel bad about being introverted though. Start by getting to know people who are introverted too and read some books at the bookstore about introversion. I think this will help you not feel bad about it because you will learn that your not alone and there are many introverted people out there.

Introverts can be highly creative, introspective, and discerning… all great qualities.
Our brains are no different from yours, we are not less or more intelligent, just differently skilled.

Besides those who know me up close would promise that I do the loudest and stupidest random shit, when I get comfortable.

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And I am going to have fun every day, because there is no other way to play.

She was the heart of the clan, the favourite amongst all the wildflowers. She brought them all together and kept them as a unit across miles. She knew all their secrets and had the greatest stories.

She loved short unplanned naps accompanying her books. Always ready with a warm hug and anyone who approached her was greeted with a charming smile. . She asked for your good company and nothing else at all!
Straightforward but polite, strong but always looking for love, never letting away a laugh, always with a bright smile. She was a wondrous soul always looking for the finer meaning to life.

There was a part of her that never wanted to grow up and she was ok with it. While many others were sore with the blinding rains, she looked out of the window and weaved words in her brilliant mind. While many others partied in colourful bliss, she got together with her pals over long breezy silent walks in their warmth.

Her eyes were unmistakably loud. She spoke a million words without saying anything at all. Her careless postures meant nothing. But she lived her life watching people define movements- through their eyes. She was shy but so what.
The shy ones were the best ones, they were the wildest ones!

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.
https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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I glow without stealing someone else’s sunshine.

Heard the song ‘You can’t break me’ by V Bozeman?
It’s great when you have a friend that gets you – you don’t need to break everything you say down for them to understand – they are rare and most precious people.
I say this from personal experience. We were close, I think. I had met her after a gap of few years. It was a new feeling. Perhaps, even exciting. We were close suddenly.
After about a year of sweet interaction, things changed dramatically. I felt they expected me to be a certain way, perhaps even critical and condescending about just everyone who would hava a good cahnce at life.
I never understand this need to talk about others. I used to take it upon myself to be more present and just not speak when I didn’t have anything to contribute.
I don’t like making my life a subject for anyone and likewise for others too.
Similarly, I would show a complete disinterest in all that she had to talk about any one else, mostly who never mattered to either of us.

After months, I looked in the mirror at myself and spoke out loud, “I’m pissed at you.”

This wasn’t a comment directed at myself, but at a close friend of mine — the person I had started to resent a few weeks prior, but instead of bringing it up at the time, I remained silent, distant, passive.

So there I was, alone at home practicing the very words I wanted to utter on several occasions over several calls, uncertain that I’d have the courage to make it happen. I am always struggling with finding the right way to let the people I care about know that I’m upset, disappointed or simply pissed off.
I felt a huge burden on myself. Initially I couldn’t quite put a finger to what was really going wrong . I nevertheless tried to make up with listening time extended, more calls and appreciation messages on occasions and keeping touch, whenever I felt a dip in the connection. I felt it was all wrong. Not working for me, like I would like it to.

After a while, it was awful to realise they just didn’t care, how I would be hurt and that perhaps they found fault in me, for not living up to a certain expectation of a friend.
I understood we all have our lists of perfect qualities. I knew I didn’t match up to theirs. They had other requirements and clearly I couldn’t have of them! I spent months on my own, day by day, as I got over it with the help of some rational self talk.
Sometimes we find ourselves at crossroads with people that we may have been excited to form bonds with at first, and yet are left wondering why they’re still in your phone contacts or friends on social media now. Sure enough, it can be painful, but it’s alright to shrug your shoulders and say, “We had a beautiful connection once, and I’m grateful for it: but now we’re just in really different places.” Drifting apart doesn’t mean you have to formally sever ties, but it’s OK to find yourself less invested in a friendship that used to be, if not your entire world, an exciting part of it. It doesn’t make me or them a bad person — it’s just about coming to terms with the knowledge that sometimes our full original selves just don’t match with old friends anymore.

(Thankyou for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.
https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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How life changed when I invested in Buddhist readings!

I get addicted to anything that makes me feel anything. Because not a lot of things make me feel.

Let me explain how life is complicated and a turmoil, mostly.

About three years ago, I started buying books on Zen and Buddhism, straining my eyes, heart and mind searching for demonstrable results.

I read everything. I didn’t understand most of it, but I tried.

I was born in a South Indian Kerala- Nair family. Of whatever memory I have of the 40 years, I lived so far, my family was not deeply religious nor were they dabbling in meditations and philosophies. Intellectually the feeling was good. It was a straightforward staring into reality mode, most of the time.
Hence, discovery of Buddhist readings was rejuvenating and to a large extent, honestly, entertaining.

So, the basic line was that everything depends on us, how we do the thinking . Therefore to be positive. Think positive and as a habit formation then, spread the happiness to all around you.

Now this is how life slowly, certainly not dramatically changed for the better.

I have a problem in dealing with arguments. Well, not the business, formal ones. With limited emotional outpour in those valleys, my performances there, are usually stellar. I can dip in and come out and I have rarely ruffled sentiments and in the rare cases I do, we find a calm solution.

My weaknesses come to the fore in the other kind. With friends, relatives and in matters of the heart, I fail to deliver on emotional grounds.
If the argument, gets out of hand, I would find myself at a place, from where it is often, difficult to return.
Sadly this new position of hostility becomes solidified and what was once an enjoyable relationship becomes over-shadowed with bitterness – not a good place to be.

For as long as I can remember, I have always crossed back into my own mind when I am upset. Talking to others during these times makes me feels bothersome, at best. This is not conducive to connecting and is usually not helpful in healing, but it’s the way I “work”.

I have always been in awe of friends and acquaintances who have the marvellous ability to let their pain show without drama, pride or self-beating.

Vulnerability has never come easy to me. Yet here I am pouring myself onto a page, day after day. If you were to ask me about it face to face, I would smile a little and maybe throw a laugh in there.
Damn! I can’t be confronted with pity pupils and I am sorry smiles. I retreat inward, I pull up my shields, it’s something I wish I didn’t have to do.

I am a work in progress now and the progress is good.
I give up on people slower and hold on to people tighter. Slipping happens rarely. I have shown an improved ability to read vibes and radiating the appropriate ones.
Earlier, patience never come easy to me, it was a ‘I want what I want, I want it now, no delay’ situation, in my life.
If they hesitated I would move on.
It’s romantic in a way now, when I am steady with my affections .

In slow and painful moments, I remind myself that there are good things left. there are good things coming. there are good things waiting for me. whoever I am, wherever I am, however I am, it can and it will get better.

It’s really great to have someone’s support before you accomplish something big because that’s when you need it the most, so here’s some friendly ghost support for the times before people recognize your greatness!

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

Posted on

I glow without stealing someone else’s sunshine!

Heard the song ‘You can’t break me’ by V Bozeman?

It’s great when you have a friend that gets you – you don’t need to break everything you say down for them to understand – they are rare and most precious people.

I say this from personal experience. We were close, I think. I had met her after a gap of few years. It was a new feeling. Perhaps, even exciting. We were close suddenly.

After about a year of sweet interaction, things changed dramatically. I felt they expected me to be a certain way, perhaps even critical and condescending about just everyone who would hava a good cahnce at life.
I never understand this need to talk about others. I used to take it upon myself to be more present and just not speak when I didn’t have anything to contribute.

I don’t like making my life a subject for anyone and likewise for others too.
Similarly, I would show a complete disinterest in all that she had to talk about any one else, mostly who never mattered to either of us.

After months, I looked in the mirror at myself and spoke out loud, “I’m pissed at you.”

This wasn’t a comment directed at myself, but at a close friend of mine — the person I had started to resent a few weeks prior, but instead of bringing it up at the time, I remained silent, distant, passive.

So there I was, alone at home practicing the very words I wanted to utter on several occasions over several calls, uncertain that I’d have the courage to make it happen. I am always struggling with finding the right way to let the people I care about know that I’m upset, disappointed or simply pissed off.
I felt a huge burden on myself.

Initially I couldn’t quite put a finger to what was really going wrong . I nevertheless tried to make up with listening time extended, more calls and appreciation messages on occasions and keeping touch, whenever I felt a dip in the connection.

I felt it was all wrong. Not working for me, like I would like it to.

After a while, it was awful to realise they just didn’t care, how I would be hurt and that perhaps they found fault in me, for not living up to a certain expectation of a friend.
I understood we all have our lists of perfect qualities. I knew I didn’t match up to theirs.

They had other requirements and clearly I couldn’t have of them! I spent months on my own, day by day, as I got over it with the help of some rational self talk.

Sometimes we find ourselves at crossroads with people that we may have been excited to form bonds with at first, and yet are left wondering why they’re still in your phone contacts or friends on social media now.

Sure enough, it can be painful, but it’s alright to shrug your shoulders and say, “We had a beautiful connection once, and I’m grateful for it: but now we’re just in really different places.”

Drifting apart doesn’t mean you have to formally sever ties, but it’s OK to find yourself less invested in a friendship that used to be, if not your entire world, an exciting part of it.

It doesn’t make me or them a bad person — it’s just about coming to terms with the knowledge that sometimes our full original selves just don’t match with old friends anymore.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/