Tag: happy place

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The real reason good friendships are so hard to come by.

Anxious but trying is the motto of my life!

I think I’m okay most of the time after these ridiculous evening self talks.

Talking to oneself and setting matters straight with one’s heart matters more because at the end of the day, nobody else gives a fuck about you and how you’re going to feel no matter how open you are to them.

Sometimes I think I need to talk out loud inside a room.
Because sometimes you see, you are your best person.

There, I said it.

I am a poor judge of people.

Even more when it comes to recognizing a solid friend.
Of course, to have good friends you have to be a good friend.

It means showing up.

If you never text back and you cancel every get-together…you will not get back deep friendship.
It means making sacrifices. Friendship requires sacrifice.

It means pursuing.

It means sending texts to check in on them about that thing they were worried about. It means grabbing a memory and making a quick call telling them you’re thinking of them.

It means asking them to meet up for a glass of wine on a sunny afternoon.
It means texting back when you’re almost asleep and telling them you miss them.
I think it’s important to make sacrifices for the friends that you choose. Maybe that means meeting up with them when you don’t feel like it. Maybe it’s doing something you don’t want to do to help them out.

It means choosing.

Well, you cannot give the same level of friendship to everyone. You have to choose the people you are going to give your heart to.

Good friends dont-

1.stay too busy for you, too long.

2. Listen to what you have to say, solely for responding with a ready-made solution.

3. Don’t show you negativity and do negative talk about your bad situation.

4. Allow fearful thoughts to navigate your brain for long.
5. Show off to you that they are perfect.

6. Tell you that they have limited time for you or that they have to struggle to make time for you.

7. Blame you or complain about you or compare you to other friends and situations.

8. Don’t just talk about loving yourself more, as a motto but show you why you are so damn lovable and cherished.

There are certain people who make the world a better place just by being in it. They seem to carry the strongest glue around with them. And sometimes, we just wish to drown ourselves in the feels they give us.
Those are the ones I think reside in our hearts forever.

How can we be these angels and good friends to others –

1. It costs nothing to be a very sweet and kind person. All you gotta do is to be a kind hearted person. That’s all.

2. Good friends treat you well, are super loyal and are incredibly protective of the ones they trust and love.

3. Most of them can be a little standoffish when you first get to meet them, but that’s only because they don’t like letting anyone in. Once they do open up, though, they are a bundle of love.

4. Again and again, they are compassionate and kind and their loyalty to loved ones is unmatched.

5. You don’t hesitate to talk to them. With them, you just know you are not alone.

6. You don’t worry about being vulnerable with them.

7. You just wouldn’t know what to do without them. Period.

8. They always, always listen to you and always notice what you are going through.

9. They are respectful.

10. They compliment you a lot and some of them are great huggers.

11. They dress you up in confidence all the time.

It’s definitely okay to choose the people you invest in; sometimes spending enough time with a friend opens your eyes to existing realities. Perhaps you overstayed in a relationship. Sometimes and often times, they would not know how to communicate lack of space in their hearts for you.
We all need this. Safe friendships. We just weren’t meant to travel this life alone and in my opinion, there’s no time we need each other more than as we grow older and lonelier.

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Longing for friendship, in a busy coffee shop.

I am sitting at the table immediately next to the entrance desk of the Cafe.
I am waiting for a friend to arrive to meet me for a symbolic evening tea.

I must have arrived earlier than usual or so I think because the wait has now stretched to about twenty minutes and I was getting quietky self conscious.

The place around was cracking under the noise of hurried eating, using steel cutlery, clanking of beer bottles as people share a drink to their happiness, combined with the laughter and loud animated voices from the conversations, of all those over packed tables.
No table was waiting to be seized. Women dressed gorgeously were moving in and out of the restroom and there was a gush of people exiting the restaurant temporarily to light a cigarette. The graceful waiter would walk with his shoulder etched diagonally to make space for them, just in case they smashed into the large brown plate filled with pizzas, burgers, sandwiches and hot meals.

The attender gave me a knowing smile, every time, he passed me. I had a feeling I was the lonely one. I knew I had to do something to look occupied. I must not look like I am devoid of friends, rauccous stories and the vibrance associated with the upscale social life, as we see around us, into which we also are subconsciously working so hard to blend, with the associated precautions.

My day dreaming was cut short with a shrieking laughter of a woman in her late twenty’s who broke into a fit of back and forth sway of her body. She was delirious and was hoping to complete what she had to say through the fit of laughter that had gripped her.

It was nice. I enjoyed looking at her. I smiled too, beneath my lips. It relaxed me. I instantly shifted back on my chair, pushed myself to feel comfortable against the wooden hand bar and crossed my legs comfortably. My shoulders were relaxed this time, the stomach falling on me with all its natural weight and each round of breathing, clearly distinguishable from the one before.
Of course, my lovely friend walked in and we had a lovely time together. We smiled often, spoke about things that charmed me and her. We engaged in depth about how important it was, that we met.
Time passed and I felt an ache when I had to finally get up to leave.
It would mean that the good times would be coming to an end soon. That, from this beautifully orchestrated mood, I would soon be transported back into quietness, melancholy and the routine existence, which I so badly try and run away from.

I run to a crowded place like this and then again ruminate at the thought of being snatched away from magical moods. This is a never ending cycle. A cycle which comes and goes. Over which, we have no control but to endure and pass.
At such times, friends make life colorful. They are a desirable escape.
While my favourite moment was whem my stomach took its comfortable place, amidst heightened social anxiety and self enforced uneasiness, my friend was the icing on the cake.

I loved it.
I really enjoy my friends.

You end up not talking to anyone about anything for fear of being hurt. You cover your inner feelings with a smile and a joke. No one likes your truth.
But the truth is right there in that coffee shop. A perpetual longing for company and the struggle to feel comfortable in one’s skin.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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Have you ever “killed” someone with kindness?

Yes, I did! Everyday on my teaching job at middle school classes I was a part of, for over 5 years.
I did my best to constantly kill them with kindness.
My schools had all hand picked teachers who had experience and the know how to physically, mentally and psychologically handle these independent diamonds in the rough.

The longest it took me to “kill” a student with my kindness was a boy with serious esteem issues and who would be an outcast mostly. It took a full 3 months. I pulled all my tricks of the trade to try and wrap him around my finger. I didn’t call on him when he wasn’t paying attention, but did when I knew he had been listening.

I smiled at everyone daily, greeting them at my door using their names.
I handed out public compliments they did nice things to others, at random times, so they had to pay attention.
I had small hand made notes for those in need of attention or support and never embarrassed them. Kindness, again.

When teaching, I would stop a lesson immediately and offer emotional support if someone wasn’t with us. They were more important than what I was teaching. Kindness, was always number one.
I really did love my students. It was also very easy for me to use kindness because it was second nature to me.
They also learned to their dismay, that kindness is not a weakness.

Gee, I loved those days and miss them!

I’ve often found that being kind is the ultimate “pay it forward” system. I have had strangers smile at me as we pass and I have spent my whole day trying to smile at some else back.

Again and again, kindness is never wasted, even if it appears so, because we are simply depositing it in a bank we cannot see and with results we may never witness ourselves. But they are there.
Again and again, we are not necessarily born knowing how to be gentle with ourselves or others. But we can learn, we can “pay it forward” so that maybe a tree will grow a little taller one day, and a person will carry themselves a little lighter and in turn help a stray dog or comfort a crying child.

Sometimes all we have to offer is scraps, but a little is enough, one small bandage at a time, one tiny gesture at a time, and that is enough. For if we all pay it forward than it is not small.

One smile at a time, one bank note at time, one person at a time. Pass it down the line– buy a stranger a snack, offer a kind word, understand that everyone is going through something.

Everyone is trying their best in the ways they know how.
You lose nothing when you considerate to others, but what we all have to gain is monumental.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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Listen, you are going to be okay.

She stood there – the first time seeing the beauty of what she had been pushing through, blindly searching for the path to the top. The clouds finally thinned and sunlight warmed her tired bones, while the memories of all these hard times started slipping.

How can one know how steep the slope actually feels before walking?
How can one know how far you need to go when the mountain is half covered in clouds?
How can one know what will happen one the way up? Who you will loose and what will leave you doubting?
And if you finally reach the top how will you decide to continue?

And then a voice speaks to me in a faint impression “Listen to me, my dear”. The composed sound resonated well with my senses. “You are the kindest, smartest, most beautiful person I have ever met. And you’re going to be so so happy. Okay?”

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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We are all just trying our best to figure ourselves out.

The good years of my life were mostly lived in disharmony. Infact quite similar to few of us- the unlucky ones on the planet.

I spent a considerable number of years, living in the past, worrying about something that happened, or in the future worrying about what’s yet to come. All the while, wasting the present moment, the one I actually have some control over. I have often wondered how different life would be now, if I had been more mindful and less judgemental.
What if I had appreciated every moment of my life by the minute.
Organically speaking, that rarely happens you see. Unless we have a terrific insight and the presence of mind, to logically transport ourselves through reality and common sense.

I have spent a considerable part of my life, comparing myself to other people. At every stage of my life, at every milestone I accomplished, there was someone who always seemed like competition. My paths and timelines were different and set up at a non linear pace, yet someone accomplishing a milestone before me, gave me a fear of being left behind. Someone else finding success before me, made me doubt my own accomplishments.

I had a great job and yet I used to wish day and night, to move back in with friends or family, back to the city I loved.

Friends were getting married before me and I thought I never will.

I would be be considerate of others and let them walk all over me because I was taught being nice is the only choice we have. It resulted in me having distorted boundaries.

You can be helpful and say no sometimes. I was a good person and the favourite feast for a pushover. I knew to be kind and didnt know how to keep unreciprocating takers at a distance.

I had not set limits because I did not want then, to be a bad person. You know what I mean.

What did I do everyday that has in bits, changed my life, slowly but surely. I am a more patient woman and less likely to be perturbed by anyone with disturbing behavior.

I broke my old practices.

I was expecting a different result without significantly changing my routine.
There was a stage of my life where I was stuck. My life was going nowhere.
I was in a job I didn’t really like, doing work I didn’t care about. And to distract myself, I was living a disarrayed life, mostly without a routine or set discipline. I used to eat out mindlessly, have no concerns about time and impact, be wasteful in my spending. I was young, earning well and independent.

I’m so guilty of wanting change without doing anything to get it. I realized that I need to change something about I did everyday, to make action; infact enjoyable and productive action a habit, for me to make anything out if my life.

Comparison kills all the fun!

I had a fetish for reading and writing since I remember. I used to particularly be in awe of friends who were into book publishing and content writing or even the print media or the otherwise agonizing advertising.
I have friends now, who would say the same in return. They loved their jobs but at the same time enjoyed my routine. I have met some of them recently who struggle to spend quality time with family and would do anything to be in my place.
Comparison is something that most of us struggle with, even more now when we compare our behind-the-scenes to someone’s highlight life on social media. The likes on Facebook are as worthy as oxygen to a dying patient sometimes.

We forget that we don’t know the whole story, it’s just a feed where we put the best version of ourselves.

I wouldn’t click a picture of myself after I have had a terrible deal with my husband with a f*cked up status line.
And so many of us, judge each others lives through such digital projection. I love social media. I am a freak sometimes. But it should be just that. Freaky and fun. I don’t attach any more meaning to it anymore. I have true admiration for anything that doesn’t steal my joy anymore.

Have faith.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason. A lot of things in my life, totally inexplicable at times have made

a lot if sense years later, in computation.
Me meeting the man of my world, in a city, I didn’t like much, is one such example.
I thought cultures would be distant and so would be our lives together.
Today he is my best friend, comfort and kickass buddy. I have understood very clearly that life happens, things don’t always go according to the plan and it’s important to have faith that everything will work out in the end. Maybe not as we thought it would. But it will get me exactly where I would be at peace with myself.

What is there to control, really!

I am by nature a very anxious person. It is quite a challenge for me to accept things as they are. This is particularly in case with my children. I am a perfectionist. I like things a certain way. I thought I would be the best mom. And all that frugal nonsense that comes alive with being a mother.
Two handsome boys hence now, I can bravely say that any such thought is utter bullshit.
My elder son was reeling with terrible breathing concerns till age 3 and I almost thought he had ADHD.
Years later he has no trace of any of that.
Perhaps I have imbibed both the problems.
Trust me, the only control you have is of you and your thoughts.
We cannot even control what our best friends and family think of us sometimes.

I have understood that it is just not possible for people to abandon their intelligence and use yours.don’t have control over what other people think of you. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why don’t you get up and go do something about it? Let go of what you can’t control and accept what you can.

Very easy to write that. But believe me, either that or pain for life. I am a much more patient person today with the second child.

Love yourself.

We need adulation. Human beings are an interdependent species. We live in a world where we cannot antagonize the truth of togetherness.
I used to believe that you need to love yourself in order be loved by someone else. That’s what people said. But I don’t agree with it 100% anymore. No matter where you are on that journey, you deserve to be loved by others, and yourself. As much as I love myself, the love front others makes my life more enjoyable and worth the time.

Being truly oneself

For most of us , this is utter rubbish. Already we are a magnet for trouble. The how does continuing on similar knowledge fetch any more good.
It has become quite the cliche but it never hurts to say it one more time, especially for those of us struggling with it.
The truth is that I have tried acting different. In more majestic ways, sometimes imbibing qualities which I sae in others, even when they didn’t come to me naturally. After a point it is uneasy and disturbing. It makes you irritable.

It sounds stylish to be flawed and quirky. The often repeated embrace yourself, need not be dramatic. Simply being yourself and taking truthful steps is magic enough in the current world.
When we let go off, the wierd things people think about us, it makes it possible to live easy without constant speed catching with others expectations.

We look funny doing that race.

Everyone is attractive when you look closely.

I look around me and as crazy as it may be, everyone motivates me. I don’t know why it is like that.

Maybe I compare myself so hard and I find fault in most of what I do.
Well technically, that’s not the best way to explain this point, but it is aboutbeing honest right?
Considering the amount of toxic people around you, at any given time, it is a blessing to to able to look up to anybody with a lesson to teach.

My neighbor who leaves her two year old son with a help at home, with no one else to watch over, because she had to earn a collective living for the family, has taught me that mother’s out there, do astounding work. She shows me strength and passion for her family.

Those small moments are damn big!

Ah, everyone says this one.
Where are those small moments. How do I know they exist? I am a confused person most times.
It can be tricky because your mind tends to look for big, exciting things.
Eventually after years of nonchalance, I still look back and know I could have lived my life better.

Those small moments, which I never saw have become a memory now and even today I grapple with what is small and presumably precious. I am learning everyday at hindsight.

Let’s keep the list alive and kicking. What has helped you collect yourself and be alive, when you were feeling lost?

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

Posted on

Music is a safe kind of high! The reason I stay intoxicated.

I think people who can play a musical instrument, or can sing and dance, are extremely attractive.

Every single time I have learned that a person can sing, or play a musical instrument really well, or groove to the beats of the song in the background with a droolworthy ease, I have almost always developed a crush on them. And I’ve always requested them to play something or sing, when I meet them.
I wrote this to pen my running thoughts on music.
I instantly develop a liking towards people with similar taste in music as mine.
When I was younger, I attended quite a few concerts. I do not know really, why I don’t do that anymore.
My favorite part of concerts was when the band plays a song everyone knows, so everyone sings along, all out of tune.
But then the singer stops singing the words to the music and you see the smiles on the band members’ faces because they know that people care about their music; and that is one of the most beautiful things to see!
What exactly drives us and makes us impassioned about a certain genre?
I feel lots of things. Most of the time, I feel the song provides a nice background to my current existence as I try to wade over the loud, concrete city traffic snarl.
Some music gives me much more than a peaceful environment, and I have trouble actually putting words to that.
A certain section of my playlist with country collection, gives me such feelings of nostalgia that I am almost transferred to another time, often that feeling is of a memory or emotion that I can’t quite hold in my mind. Some music gives me energy; I seldom listen while writing, but surely, the songs play in my head, giving me a boost!
Some songs (some you would expect, some not) move me deeply. These are actually the strangest, because these feelings I cannot control at all and at the same time these are the ones I cherish most, if that makes sense.
When the written word, a passage in a book or a poem, moves me I think I know why, but when a piece of music does, I can’t really tell. Even if it’s accompanied by a wonderful piece of lyrics, it’s the music that tips the wages.
We all have a favorite tune though.
Mine is when sometimes a song can blind me to what I may be doing, strip me away of my defenses and makes me vulnerable.
Personally, I listen to music everywhere I am, with my own company ; there’s no location too remote, no setting too complicated no work too intense for me not to have a soundtrack to it. I am on my laptop right now and there is music playing, in the background. When I get into my car and start the engine, music starts playing. When I put my sons to sleep and spend some time beneath the ceiling stars, we enjoy the soundtrack of Alvin and the chipmunks, lately.
Does music heal?
I think so. You are what you listen to.
Dense aura grows on me rapidly. I use music to deal with my thoughts daily.
Music for me is like the background for my work, my routine existence.
Think of it like frosting on a cake.
The cake is good… But the frosting makes it better!
If I’m feeling particularly sad?
Yes, maybe something to get my brains not sway into the negative zone.
If I’m feeling happy? Great! Music can amp it up.
I don’t know if I must call it “treatment” like to be therapeutic? I’m not sure. I guess I wouldn’t know due to the fact that I am only saying it from my own experience and not from a professional stand.
It does help me though.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
http://sayitnish.com/

Posted on

We are all just trying our best to figure ourselves out

The good years of my life were mostly lived in disharmony. Infact quite similar to few of us- the unlucky ones on the planet. I spent a considerable number of years, living in the past, worrying about something that happened, or in the future worrying about what’s yet to come. All the while, wasting the present moment, the one I actually have some control over. I have often wondered how different life would be now, if I had been more mindful and less judgemental.
What if I had appreciated every moment of my life by the minute.
Organically speaking, that rarely happens you see. Unless we have a terrific insight and the presence of mind, to logically transport ourselves through reality and common sense.

I have spent a considerable part of my life, comparing myself to other people. At every stage of my life, at every milestone I accomplished, there was someone who always seemed like competition. My paths and timelines were different and set up at a non linear pace, yet someone accomplishing a milestone before me, gave me a fear of being left behind. Someone else finding success before me, made me doubt my own accomplishments.

I had a great job and yet I used to wish day and night, to move back in with friends or family, back to the city I loved.

Friends were getting married before me and I thought I never will.

I would be be considerate of others and let them walk all over me because I was taught being nice is the only choice we have. It resulted in me having distorted boundaries.

You can be helpful and say no sometimes. I was a good person and the favourite feast for a pushover. I knew to be kind and didnt know how to keep unreciprocating takers at a distance.

I had not set limits because I did not want then, to be a bad person. You know what I mean.

What did I do everyday that has in bits, changed my life, slowly but surely. I am a more patient woman and less likely to be perturbed by anyone with disturbing behavior.

I broke my old practices.

I was expecting a different result without significantly changing my routine.
There was a stage of my life where I was stuck. My life was going nowhere.
I was in a job I didn’t really like, doing work I didn’t care about. And to distract myself, I was living a disarrayed life, mostly without a routine or set discipline. I used to eat out mindlessly, have no concerns about time and impact, be wasteful in my spending. I was young, earning well and independent.

I’m so guilty of wanting change without doing anything to get it. I realized that I need to change something about I did everyday, to make action; infact enjoyable and productive action a habit, for me to make anything out if my life.

Comparison kills all the fun!

I had a fetish for reading and writing since I remember. I used to particularly be in awe of friends who were into book publishing and content writing or even the print media or the otherwise agonizing advertising.
I have friends now, who would say the same in return. They loved their jobs but at the same time enjoyed my routine. I have met some of them recently who struggle to spend quality time with family and would do anything to be in my place.
Comparison is something that most of us struggle with, even more now when we compare our behind-the-scenes to someone’s highlight life on social media. The likes on Facebook are as worthy as oxygen to a dying patient sometimes.
We forget that we don’t know the whole story, it’s just a feed where we put the best version of ourselves. I wouldn’t click a picture of myself after I have had a terrible deal with my husband with a f*cked up status line.
And so many of us, judge each others lives through such digital projection. I love social media. I am a freak sometimes. But it should be just that. Freaky and fun. I don’t attach any more meaning to it anymore. I have true admiration for anything that doesn’t steal my joy anymore.

Have faith.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason. A lot of things in my life, totally inexplicable at times have made a lot if sense years later, in computation.
Me meeting the man of my world, in a city, I didn’t like much, is one such example.
I thought cultures would be distant and so would be our lives together.
Today he is my best friend, comfort and kickass buddy. I have understood very clearly that life happens, things don’t always go according to the plan and it’s important to have faith that everything will work out in the end. Maybe not as we thought it would. But it will get me exactly where I would be at peace with myself.

What is there to control, really!

I am by nature a very anxious person. It is quite a challenge for me to accept things as they are. This is particularly in case with my children. I am a perfectionist. I like things a certain way. I thought I would be the best mom. And all that frugal nonsense that comes alive with being a mother.

Two handsome boys hence now, I can bravely say that any such thought is utter bullshit.
My elder son was reeling with terrible breathing concerns till age 3 and I lmost thought he had ADHD.
Years later he has no trace of any of that.
Perhaps I have imbibed both the problems.
Trust me, the only control you have is of you and your thoughts.
We cannot even control what our best friends and family think of us sometimes. I have understood that it is just not possible for people to abandon their intelligence and use yours.don’t have control over what other people think of you. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why don’t you get up and go do something about it?

Let go of what you can’t control and accept what you can. Very wasy to write that. But believe me either that or pain for life. I am a much more patient person today with the second child.

Love yourself.

We need adulation. Human beings are an interdependent species. We live in a world where we cannot antagonize the truth of togetherness.
I used to believe that you need to love yourself in order be loved by someone else. That’s what people said. But I don’t agree with it 100% anymore. No matter where you are on that journey, you deserve to be loved by others, and yourself. As much as I love myself, the love front others makes my life more enjoyable and worth the time.

Being truly oneself

For most of us , this is utter rubbish. Already we are a magnet for trouble. The how does continuing on similar knowledge fetch any more good.
It has become quite the cliche but it never hurts to say it one more time,especially for those of us struggling with it.
The truth is that I have tried acting different. In more majestic ways, sometimes imbibing qualities which I sae in others, even when they didn’t come to me naturally. After a point it is uneasy and disturbing. It makes you irritable. It sounds stylish to be flawed and quirky. The often repeated embrace yourself, need not be dramatic. Simply being yourself and taking truthful steps is magic enough in the current world.
When we let go off, the wierd things people think about us, it makes it possible to live easy without constant speed catching with others expectations. We look funny doing that race.

Everyone is attractive when you look closely.

I look around me and as crazy as it may be, everyone motivates me. I don’t know why it is like that. Maybe I compare myself so hard and I find fault in most of what I do.
Well technically, that’s not the best way to explain this point, but it is about being honest right?
Considering the amount of toxic people around you, at any given time, it is a blessing to to able to look up to anybody with a lesson to teach.

My neighbor who leaves her two year old son with a help at home, with no one else to watch over, because she had to earn a collective living for the family, has taught me that mother’s out there, do astounding work. She shows me strength and passion for her family.

Those small moments are damn big!

Ah, everyone says this one.
Where are those small moments. How do I know they exist? I am a confused person most times.
It can be tricky because your mind tends to look for big, exciting things.
Eventually after years of nonchalance, I still look back and know I could have lived my life better. Those small moments, which I never saw have become a memory now and even today I grapple with what is small and presumably precious. I am learning everyday at hindsight.

Let’s keep the list alive and kicking. What has helped you collect yourself and be alive, when you were feeling lost?

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish

http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

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Self love f*ck yeah, but love from the other side is a blessing too!

Have you ever heard someone say, “I only got six hours of sleep last night”, to which the other person rolls their eyes and thinks (or maybe says), “well, I only got four”.

In other words, feeling invalidated.

This whole one-up style of argument is annoying, but frankly, understandable– we all want others to acknowledge our problems and feel like they are valid. But by undermining someone else’s issues for the sake of our own, is tough on certain emotions, you see.

Isn’t the whole point that we’re both tired? What if the person who had six hours of sleep just came off of a twelve-hour work shift, and we had a nap earlier in the day?

The point is, we don’t know other peoples’ circumstances, either. But it’s reasonable to want our problems to be recognized too– everyone does, really.

While in those unfriendly situations, it is nice to stay humble and maintain perspective and perhaps even, smile away that vibe, it truly does cause tremendous pain.

I have figured at forty, that I could do without such energy.

Everyone needs validation.
We all crave for attention, in a good way. We like our work being appreciated. It gives a momentum to our pace when we are told that we are doing attractive things.
Or that we cook tremendous recipes.
Maybe we are the city’s best entrepreneur.
One hell of a make up artist and my personal favourite, the best dance artist in the neighborhood.

Who doesn’t like an appreciative smile.
Because we are all emotional people and we all have thoughts.
There is a thin line between seeking validation from places where you are not sure about positive flow. Then there is an unhealthy circulation of ill feelings and troubled relationships.

Here there is automatically an imbalance in relationships.
But being open to validation from those who are encouraging and looking forward to your happiness each day, is strength at another level.
This can rarely go wrong.
I have a friend, who is the first to know about all my achievements. She has me to share with, all her feats, the successful woman she is, in an immediate order as it happens.
This is validation again.
The one that flows generously, without headaches and ill feelings in the digestive system.
Calling loved ones and reminding myself of how much they value me and sharing my experiences and recognizing, through the resultant conversations, that I wasn’t alone with my feelings and struggles, is healthy.

I am glad I could write this.

I am grateful for all the lovely people who make me feel alive and a true part of their sad and happy moments without invalidating my own.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

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I like you more, when you care to be yourself.

“People are assholes, Mouse. You already know that.” He paused as he scooped some of my hair back, gently tossing the strands over my shoulder. “And there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
I glanced over at him. Everything about his steady gaze and the serious press of his lips screamed earnest. But he was wrong. “It is…embarrassing.”
“Not if you don’t let it be.” His leg brushed mine as he turned in his seat, facing me. Our eyes met. “You have the power over that. People can say crap. They can think whatever they want, but you control how you feel about it.

–Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever

Often times I think I am selfish and inpatient. I make terrible mistakes, my emotions are out of control and expressions are vague. The knowledge of my own fallibility also sometimes, doesn’t keep me from making mistakes. I have regrets. I know I cannot look back in time. I cannot undo what I once did and unthink what I once thought.
So I take that as an inspiration and don’t let mistakes be a reason, to give up on somebody.
We all are surfing the waves, falling and flying high on the tide of life. When they rise, may I be loving and strong and when I rise, may I stay humble and kind.

I spend a lot of time engaging with my emotions.
It makes me think of all the people I dont talk to anymore, that I miss talking to and then I wonder if I will ever re-meet any of them so we can try again.

This doesn’t have to be romantic either, it can be ‘we ran into each other at a chaotic time, now we have reconnected and are great friends’ and I love it.

Please read this with an open heart and welcoming soul-

We hide because we want to be found,
We stay silent because we want to be heard,
We isolate because we need someone,
We leave because we wait for something

I wish you stop telling me about how I should feel for a certain situation. Yes, you are entitled to your opinion but it doesn’t give you the right to set aside my feelings nor invalidate them. I may never share the same level of understanding as you, perhaps. We never have the same experience, it may have similarities, but not exactly the same. We never have the same level of tolerance when it comes to pain.

I am very sensitive and may be you are tough. I may not recover easily from what you may not even remember.
Let me feel what I am feeling at the moment. Let me struggle. Let me hurt. Let me cry. You are welcome to show and acknowledge your emotions too. Being with you is enough. Listening to each other is enough. Let us empathize.
If we are tired of looking at each other some day, tired of each other’s “shits”, then we don’t have to say anything at all, instead of invalidating and blaming each other for what we feel.

Let us just listen to our silence. Our discomforts we hide. Let us just stay for each other. Your presence is enough.

Time will come, we will heal ourselves, eventually.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

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I am an Introvert and I know how to have some serious fun.

I am an introvert.

This word defines my existence- the quality of my interactions with others and myself, the quality of my creative self-expression, and the quality of the love in my heart.
Okay, having said that, how many of us cringe at being branded as shy!

We spend our lives fighting accusations of being stuck up, lonely, bashful, averse to conversations and a poor team player.

Infact more often than not, all the above is a figment of imagination.
Let me try and break it up at a general level.

We are alive, cheerful, listening and observing you. We may not talk to you about just everything you may bring to the table, but we will talk to you about life for hours.
And if we open up ourselves to you, know that it means you are very special to us.

Now, read this carefully-

‘As an introvert, I crave meaningful one to one conversation with a like-minded person. When in large groups, I tend to get quiet, and often I’ll get lost in the shuffle. I will shut down completely if the crowd is too large and loud. I’ll make an early exit as soon as I feel overwhelmed. The truth is, I feel more lonely in a large group than I would just being alone. Ahhh…but those conversations with just you and me are like magic. I come alive once again. I open up and invite you to know the real me. It kindles my heart and warms my soul when I capture your undivided attention . No disturbance, no distraction, no interruption.’

It is just our natural temperament and we contribute to the human race in bulk.

For those who struggle to understand if there is anything in life at all that we enjoy, let me try my bit-

1. To begin with most of us have a terrific sense of humour. We can be funny and interesting and most of you have no idea to what extremes.
2. When you see us enjoy that cup of coffee by ourselves, in a bookshop, we are not left out or looking for someone through eternity, to fill the gloom. We go looking for those corner spots.enjoying that perfect little state, between sociability and quiet.
3. When you ask me, why don’t you speak, in all probability I have nothing to say. I just enjoy sitting next to you and listening to you as you speak, crack jokes and having me in splits.Please don’t push me to produce any jokes of my own.
4. You cannot comprehend how much we like depth and space. We look for connections and will not let you go if we find you awesome. We will make it up to you, by entertaining you in our ridiculous ways.
5. Socializing can be draining on us, but trust us when we say, we will never let you be bored. We are full of ideas. Interesting ones. We may appear like we sit and stare at the ceiling when we are not with people, but we can process adventure in the most ordinary settings.
6. Want an understanding confidante! Everyone wants one. We will always be there for you. We dint speak much. And the least we will do is, speak about you to someone else. Most of the timez we are lazy to do that. Jokes apart, no one does practical behind-the-scene work as brilliantly as we do.

Being an extroverted, socially aplomb person is a great thing. I have no friends who are like me. They are all super extroverts. Infact, I will go a step ahead and announce that a couple of my closest and dearets friends, whom I talk to or chat with, almost everyday, are true party girls. They are beautiful, intelligent, socially brilliant and can attend a couple of rock shows, in the same day.

Don’t feel bad about being introverted though. Start by getting to know people who are introverted too and read some books at the bookstore about introversion. I think this will help you not feel bad about it because you will learn that your not alone and there are many introverted people out there.

Introverts can be highly creative, introspective, and discerning… all great qualities.
Our brains are no different from yours, we are not less or more intelligent, just differently skilled.

Besides those who know me up close would promise that I do the loudest and stupidest random shit, when I get comfortable.