The real reason good friendships are so hard to come by.

Anxious but trying is the motto of my life!

I think I’m okay most of the time after these ridiculous evening self talks.

Talking to oneself and setting matters straight with one’s heart matters more because at the end of the day, nobody else gives a fuck about you and how you’re going to feel no matter how open you are to them.

Sometimes I think I need to talk out loud inside a room.
Because sometimes you see, you are your best person.

There, I said it.

I am a poor judge of people.

Even more when it comes to recognizing a solid friend.
Of course, to have good friends you have to be a good friend.

It means showing up.

If you never text back and you cancel every get-together…you will not get back deep friendship.
It means making sacrifices. Friendship requires sacrifice.

It means pursuing.

It means sending texts to check in on them about that thing they were worried about. It means grabbing a memory and making a quick call telling them you’re thinking of them.

It means asking them to meet up for a glass of wine on a sunny afternoon.
It means texting back when you’re almost asleep and telling them you miss them.
I think it’s important to make sacrifices for the friends that you choose. Maybe that means meeting up with them when you don’t feel like it. Maybe it’s doing something you don’t want to do to help them out.

It means choosing.

Well, you cannot give the same level of friendship to everyone. You have to choose the people you are going to give your heart to.

Good friends dont-

1.stay too busy for you, too long.

2. Listen to what you have to say, solely for responding with a ready-made solution.

3. Don’t show you negativity and do negative talk about your bad situation.

4. Allow fearful thoughts to navigate your brain for long.
5. Show off to you that they are perfect.

6. Tell you that they have limited time for you or that they have to struggle to make time for you.

7. Blame you or complain about you or compare you to other friends and situations.

8. Don’t just talk about loving yourself more, as a motto but show you why you are so damn lovable and cherished.

There are certain people who make the world a better place just by being in it. They seem to carry the strongest glue around with them. And sometimes, we just wish to drown ourselves in the feels they give us.
Those are the ones I think reside in our hearts forever.

How can we be these angels and good friends to others –

1. It costs nothing to be a very sweet and kind person. All you gotta do is to be a kind hearted person. That’s all.

2. Good friends treat you well, are super loyal and are incredibly protective of the ones they trust and love.

3. Most of them can be a little standoffish when you first get to meet them, but that’s only because they don’t like letting anyone in. Once they do open up, though, they are a bundle of love.

4. Again and again, they are compassionate and kind and their loyalty to loved ones is unmatched.

5. You don’t hesitate to talk to them. With them, you just know you are not alone.

6. You don’t worry about being vulnerable with them.

7. You just wouldn’t know what to do without them. Period.

8. They always, always listen to you and always notice what you are going through.

9. They are respectful.

10. They compliment you a lot and some of them are great huggers.

11. They dress you up in confidence all the time.

It’s definitely okay to choose the people you invest in; sometimes spending enough time with a friend opens your eyes to existing realities. Perhaps you overstayed in a relationship. Sometimes and often times, they would not know how to communicate lack of space in their hearts for you.
We all need this. Safe friendships. We just weren’t meant to travel this life alone and in my opinion, there’s no time we need each other more than as we grow older and lonelier.

Listen, you are going to be okay.

She stood there – the first time seeing the beauty of what she had been pushing through, blindly searching for the path to the top. The clouds finally thinned and sunlight warmed her tired bones, while the memories of all these hard times started slipping.

How can one know how steep the slope actually feels before walking?
How can one know how far you need to go when the mountain is half covered in clouds?
How can one know what will happen one the way up? Who you will loose and what will leave you doubting?
And if you finally reach the top how will you decide to continue?

And then a voice speaks to me in a faint impression “Listen to me, my dear”. The composed sound resonated well with my senses. “You are the kindest, smartest, most beautiful person I have ever met. And you’re going to be so so happy. Okay?”

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.

Extremely sensitive people are not doormats or idiots.

I, the one, who is very sensitive.

I am the worst human being on the planet. They hate me. That’s it, I have ruined my relationships forever. I will never be forgiven. Why would they? What I did, whatever it was,was unforgivable. I feel guilty for things going wrong. I can feel their pain in my own chest. I am so heavy with this burden. Nothing can improve this.. Might as well leave hope.

‘She looks very loving and caring but prefers to distance herself from everyone, she is empath but keeps her emotions hidden away, is very hot-headed and protective of her loved ones.’

Have you ever felt like you can’t chill with certain people because they somehow drain your energy? Have you ever felt overwhelming emotions out of the bloom? Have you ever felt drawn to certain people to realize they somehow need your help? Have you ever felt like surrounding yourself around people can be overwhelming or watching the news is killing you inside?
There was a time where I never believed in something like this. Until it happened to me. I never knew it was a “thing” until I after reading a lot of articles (at the time) googled it, to find out that I was indeed an Empath.

Now for those who never heard about “Empath” you are probably thinking “The fuck is that?” 🤷🏼‍♀️

People differ in their understanding of empathy.
According to Google’s dictionary definition, empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”

To many people, it is commonly associated with sympathy, sensitivity, and oftentimes, weakness.
But what exactly is an empath? An empath is an extremely emotionally sensitive individual. Someone who reads situations well based on emotions and unspoken vibes.

I have had my perilous moments psychologically, when people, also friends often criticize me for being “too sensitive”.
I used to get hit with random emotions during or after being around other people.
My pain tolerance is low, both emotionally or physically.
Positive energy makes me feel like warm sunbeams are cascading around me and I have a strong impulse to be kind and compassionate towards others who are around me.

Mostly, I often feel drained after being around negative people for extended periods of time.

And I used to typically find myself surrounded by these characters.
Now this is indeed not an easy trait to have, we’ve all probably encountered that person who is a ‘total crybaby’ or who just feels too much and gets riled up easily.
And it can be misleading if you only use your eyes when looking at these people, you may see them and think, wow, what a crybaby! or you may think they are weak or too soft.
But! This is all a big misunderstanding!

I used to get legitimately angry about people’s feelings intruding so much into my mental space. On some days, èvery single thing felt like a nail on a wall. Every disappointed punctuation mark feels like gaslighting. Everything that is wrong feels like my responsibility. Friends who don’t get back to you even on their own whims, you feel you must reach out to them. And it gets so tiresome some days, that there is no fucking reprieve from it that I just want to scream’ will you just stop feeling around me!’

Typically, the people who make you feel useless are self centered and you instantly feel tired, uneasy, afraid or sad around them. They take advantage of your compassion through guilt tripping also at the same time lean on you as if you are a crutch.
Some might even be over dramatic in their evaluation of you.
Evidently, your stomach churns at the thought of being around them and you feel physically sick, anxious, angry and or depressed after spending time with them.
They typically dismiss your feelings or events going on in your life

Clearly, this is abusive.

How can I protect myself?
I will have to cut these energy vampires out of my life.
I am just trying to make it through life, same as everyone else.
Being kind is beautiful, but here’s the catch. If you are too nice to the point where you let people step over you, then it’s a fucking problem.
I am especially when I shouldn’t be to people I shouldn’t but, I can’t help it. I am working on it.

For all of us who struggle, I say this. Its alright to be sensitive. I guess that’s how you pay when you have magic in your heart.

I do attract narcissistic people. I am finally aware of it and wonder if it is something to be proud of. I am though I could not be any other way. I really do not show it from the outside.I put on a good front.You may call it a mask.

In my head the logic is very simple: people who don’t have empathy, can’t imagine someone else who does.
Because we only truly know what we have experienced in life.

As soon as understanding and logic kick in, the manipulative tactics of an aggressive person, no longer have an effect on you. Total understanding and clarity sans emotional entanglement lead you to freedom.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.