You must learn to let go. Life is not easy for any one of us.

Photo by Yeshi Kangrang from Unsplash

I have the fear of closed spaces.

However, I do like empty spaces. They are liberating. I literally can’t imagine not having time alone or not having time for silence around me, most times. I like good friends and they are few. I know people who are very scared of sharks and deep ocean\water. I also know people who are scared of heights and looking down a terrific slope. The interesting part is that I have an obsession with heights even if I am scared of exploring an adventurous sky dive. I want to swim with big fish and have an exciting ocean holiday tattooed somewhere forever in my mind. I think that I am fascinated by them as much as I am scared of them.
We are all scared of different things and yet so similar we are, in how we want to conquer them or how we wish they could simply be avoided.

I used to be like you. I used to think a lot and stress about life right before I sleep. I still do worry a lot sometimes. But the degree is less. You just have to find something you like to do at night. That can give you some peace in mind. Maybe listen to some music/songs..have a grateful thought, forgive an action of someone who hurt you, disarm your defences a bit.
Don’t worry so much okay.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.
https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

Extremely sensitive people are not doormats or idiots.

I, the one, who is very sensitive.

I am the worst human being on the planet. They hate me. That’s it, I have ruined my relationships forever. I will never be forgiven. Why would they? What I did, whatever it was,was unforgivable. I feel guilty for things going wrong. I can feel their pain in my own chest. I am so heavy with this burden. Nothing can improve this.. Might as well leave hope.

‘She looks very loving and caring but prefers to distance herself from everyone, she is empath but keeps her emotions hidden away, is very hot-headed and protective of her loved ones.’

Have you ever felt like you can’t chill with certain people because they somehow drain your energy? Have you ever felt overwhelming emotions out of the bloom? Have you ever felt drawn to certain people to realize they somehow need your help? Have you ever felt like surrounding yourself around people can be overwhelming or watching the news is killing you inside?
There was a time where I never believed in something like this. Until it happened to me. I never knew it was a “thing” until I after reading a lot of articles (at the time) googled it, to find out that I was indeed an Empath.

Now for those who never heard about “Empath” you are probably thinking “The fuck is that?” 🤷🏼‍♀️

WHAT IS AN EMPATH?
People differ in their understanding of empathy.
According to Google’s dictionary definition, empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”

To many people, it is commonly associated with sympathy, sensitivity, and oftentimes, weakness.
But what exactly is an empath? An empath is an extremely emotionally sensitive individual. Someone who reads situations well based on emotions and unspoken vibes.

I have had my perilous moments psychologically, when people, also friends often criticize me for being “too sensitive”.
I used to get hit with random emotions during or after being around other people.
My pain tolerance is low, both emotionally or physically.
Positive energy makes me feel like warm sunbeams are cascading around me and I have a strong impulse to be kind and compassionate towards others who are around me.

Mostly, I often feel drained after being around negative people for extended periods of time.

And I used to typically find myself surrounded by these characters.
Now this is indeed not an easy trait to have, we’ve all probably encountered that person who is a ‘total crybaby’ or who just feels too much and gets riled up easily.
And it can be misleading if you only use your eyes when looking at these people, you may see them and think, wow, what a crybaby! or you may think they are weak or too soft.
But! This is all a big misunderstanding!

I used to get legitimately angry about people’s feelings intruding so much into my mental space. On some days, èvery single thing felt like a nail on a wall. Every disappointed punctuation mark feels like gaslighting. Everything that is wrong feels like my responsibility. Friends who don’t get back to you even on their own whims, you feel you must reach out to them. And it gets so tiresome some days, that there is no fucking reprieve from it that I just want to scream’ will you just stop feeling around me!’

Typically, the people who make you feel useless are self centered and you instantly feel tired, uneasy, afraid or sad around them. They take advantage of your compassion through guilt tripping also at the same time lean on you as if you are a crutch.
Some might even be over dramatic in their evaluation of you.
Evidently, your stomach churns at the thought of being around them and you feel physically sick, anxious, angry and or depressed after spending time with them.
They typically dismiss your feelings or events going on in your life

Clearly, this is abusive.

How can I protect myself?
I will have to cut these energy vampires out of my life.
I am just trying to make it through life, same as everyone else.
Being kind is beautiful, but here’s the catch. If you are too nice to the point where you let people step over you, then it’s a fucking problem.
I am especially when I shouldn’t be to people I shouldn’t but, I can’t help it. I am working on it.

For all of us who struggle, I say this. Its alright to be sensitive. I guess that’s how you pay when you have magic in your heart.

I do attract narcissistic people. I am finally aware of it and wonder if it is something to be proud of. I am though I could not be any other way. I really do not show it from the outside.I put on a good front.You may call it a mask.

In my head the logic is very simple: people who don’t have empathy, can’t imagine someone else who does.
Because we only truly know what we have experienced in life.

As soon as understanding and logic kick in, the manipulative tactics of an aggressive person, no longer have an effect on you. Total understanding and clarity sans emotional entanglement lead you to freedom.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

This year, stay alive and kicking!

Although this year, certainly doesn’t look like what most of us would have expected, there are always things to do, to give ourselves a boost.

Right now, a lot of things have been uncertain, disappointing, and sometimes, even difficult or frightening.

But despite it all there is so much good stuff we can still count on! This is the important thing to remember.

As I cruise through there terrible, sometimes claustrophobic times..it kinda helps to think about the good people I am yet to meet and the good places, I am yet to see in life!

My thoughts are most alive
when my world is warm
the wind is pleasant, the sun shines delicately

through the rustling leaves
the evenings are orange and grey

Ah, the beauty of the city lights at night
my children giving me a goodnight hug
these moments would bring a feeling

I could never describe in as many words
but i when I think about
how life would be without any of it
I would still be grateful
for any temporary moment of a gorgeous life
for as small as they came
they made me stay.

(Thank-you for reading this article!)

My passion is writing. Everything I write about is geared toward things that I deeply cares about—experiences, thoughts, drama, and emotions. A full-time mom to two handsome boys—11 and 4—I built a career around insurance underwriting and later, teaching of English literature and language in high school, before vanishing into full-time mommy responsibilities. I believe that life is not meant to be serious all of the time, and that we should have fun as much as we can. Besides writing, I enjoy watching spy network series and living it up by creating laugh memes with my two lovely young boys!

To follow my work on.

https://www.facebook.com/sayitnish
http://instagram.com/sayitnish
https://sayitnish.com/

Talk. You will be surprised, how we all feel the same!

If you’re anything like me, you get anxious- a lot.

I have dealt with being worried my whole life, but luckily i found some ways to manage it.

In poetic words,

Sometimes I’ve got this strange feeling
That is hard to describe
I can’t set it free
I don’t have the keys to its lock
I’m stuck with it
Until it goes to sleep
Waiting for the perfect moment
To wake up again

When I was about to finish high school, I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life, what I was going to study or if I even wanted to leave the city for an adventure. I started to have a lot of doubts and feel overwhelmed by the idea that I was going to get rejected, that I didn’t have enough knowledge & more importantly, that I didn’t know who I was.

I used to overthink all the time & I got to a point where I isolated myself from everyone & everything.

But then I realized that the only who can control my emotions & thoughts is me. I took a deep breath and my journey began when I decided to work on myself and step by step I started to get to know me.

I am my own best friend.

Not going to lie, it wasn’t easy and I am still struggling and learning at the same time, but when you realize that you can control your emotions and thoughts, it gives you a lot of power and motivation to keep going.

Worry makes you do funny things. You might be tempted to keep doing more of what you’ve been doing, hoping that this time it will be different. I did a whole lot of repetition and I created more problems than I got rid of. Several times, my “improvements” produced even worse results than I was getting before.
I was trying too hard to relax. I was looking for low hanging fruits.

This is what I have to share-
It can be such a relief when someone else expresses the feelings you’ve been trying to put into words for so long; it can help you remember that you’re not alone.

And it works both ways. If you open up, it might encourage others to do the same.
It’s not always easy to describe how you’re feeling. If you can’t think of one word, use lots.
Be genuine. Be kind. Listen.

I wrote this last night-

‘The day may not be beautiful
But relax
It will not last long
Trust the hours
Like you have arrived now,
they will carry you to different places.’

(Thank-you for reading this article!)