(Photo by Heather Mount from Unsplash)
When I first met him, I was like this person desperately looking for companionship….I can say that I was almost looking for a bond of need. Deep inside, I knew that it was destined to fail because you cannot drink from an empty cup. I must search desperately for meaning and fullness that will fill the void within myself first.
The hunger never ends, as nothing can satisfy it except creating meaning within my own self. I grew up frenzied, inevitably falling to disappointment.
I was fortunate to have loving parents but there was always this thirst for finding meaning and an anchor in another.
I was mostly attached to the idea, the concept, the ideal that I had created in my mind of the other person; and so with the passing of years I learnt that it only leads to further heartache. When I grew up onto a strong, quite mature person I realised that paradoxically, in this hunger to find meaning in another, I might be either consciously or unconsciously blinded to each other’s true interests and passions; and thereby make an attempt to overwrite the other’s world with my own fears. And I did for a while. My worries and anxieties became his to worry about for a little time as well.
He came from a moment of rightness, of peace, of calm, of feeling at home. He taught me that instead of need, there is want and choice, which are completely different things and so does not cling desperately for anchor in another. Someone who took ownership of their inner wounds, their weaknesses, their shortcomings.
This is what is attractive. When, he knows that in order for a relationship to work, both will have to invest continuously, that at every dawn a new choice is to be made, that love isn’t just an endless honeymoon dictated by moods or needs or changing hearts; that love is choosing each other day by day, and knowing that there will be times when one will have to carry most of the weight to compensate for an imbalance, whatever the reason may be for this, or sometimes both will carry it equally, and so forth.
They know that in the end, it’s all about intent and choice, as long as they both hold on and want to be with each other, they will keep doing whatever necessary to make it work.
Most of all, they know that time changes things, that people evolve, and that is absolutely natural and essential for a joyous union, and to this end they strive to encourage and support you also in becoming our very best selves, in pursuing whatever passions set our heart alight.
With time, our bond has only strengthened like flowers in a garden. He and I were like a powerhouse of love, of unbreakable commitment, a power couple in its truest form. It is a divine union because there is nothing that cannot be achieved by two people that have reached such a state of friendship and intentional living.
I love him and he is my best friend.